Day 3 is so close

I’m less than 3 hours away from day 3.

This is so hard. I’ve not gotten this far in any of my serious attempts to stop. Medically, I should be safe, as I have only been problem drinking for a little over a year and I’m only 23 years old. My heart is racing, though, as I lay here trying to sleep. Paranoid thoughts, and so much heartbroken anguish over my recent relationship ending (on my terms but still). Not to mention I saw my ex today as she attempted to re-establish contact, which I avoided thankfully but with no small amount of stress and sadness.

This is so hard guys. There’s beer downstairs and I want one desperately just to calm my nerves and help forget about this abusive woman and how much I gave her of myself to the point of making myself an alcoholic. Paradoxical.