My rock bottom...

So this time I am rying super hard to quit. I truly want this to be the end after what I did. Recently I lost my job, but got another one however in between paycheques. This doesn't work for am alcholic as we need steady money to buy our booze. Recently I got engaged and we had an engagement party, some of the gifts were liquor store gift cards in order to pay for the bar. The wedding is not until September, so when I ran out of money and didn't want to ask my fiancee for more money I decided to "borrow " 100$ card and thought I would just buy another one when I got paid. Bad idea.

She found a receipt with s gift card balance on it as well as the cans (she knew I drank like 3 times a week, however it was daily I would wait for her to fall asleep) the shame I felt when she confronted me was the worst. She didn't even ask me to stop just cut down but we all know that's not gonna work for me. Anyway I hope I can do this not just for her but me. I like to think I am a good guy, but this addiction makes me a monster.