26M - Why do people want friends?

I was cool in school, friends were ok, I had friends, i never really enjoyed hanging out with them that much. Everybody liked me, i could entertain people, it was somewhat entertaining, but I don't care about people and I don't have feelings. People seem like a shit ton of work, even just having a friend is a huge fucking hassle, trying to have things to say, I mean I can command a conversation for hours but I really don't give a damn about the other person, I just do it to save face and avoid the silence. I don't want to have any sort of commitment where I have to spend time with people, I don't enjoy it, and there are other things I could be doing that I find more enjoyable by myself. Let alone a romantic relationship, literally putting a gun in your mouth and saying "pull that trigger baby, because i'm emotionally dependent and ready for you to literally destroy my life if I ever upset you", no thanks, I can get myself off, and I can off myself if need be, so i'm good.

I understand that people have some sort of insecurity and they want to be validated by other people, they want to be acknowledged because they lack confidence and self-respect, but I have shit tons of confidence and I don't need any more from other people, even if it does feel pretty decent, it's an illicit high like drugs, considering the fact that if people like you, they like you for a reason, which usually means you are being a sycophant, you benefit them somehow, or they otherwise gain something from you, and I don't even have any interest in that reciprocation because i would much rather be self-reliant than depend on another person. Depending on another person means you have this volatile and unstable linchpin in your plans, so if that person fucks up your plan goes to shit, and the last thing I am looking for is some sort of unreliability in my life. I can't trust anybody, I can't even trust myself, so clearly i'm not going to put any faith in a person who clearly has even less reason to act in my best interests.

I don't see any reason to convolute things, and even if it is just a normal friendship, that means convoluting my life to the point where i have to answer messages, spend time in public with people, and commit large swaths of time to interacting with people for absolutely no reason, so far as I can tell, because I get absolutely no pleasure from interacting with people, only exhaustion at best, often annoyance. I see people as these little shitty yappy dogs, that don't really do anything, sure they might be cute, but fuck it, that's exhausting to take care of those things and even more so to listen to them talk. It's exhausting just taking care of myself, let alone caring for another person on top of myself when i easily don't even care enough about myself, and if i need to hear somebody talk I can listen to myself when i write text or just think.

Thankfully I don't have feelings, or I would likely be hooked on this heroin of 'friendship' and 'love', and that shit is fucking exhausting, I would hate to be cripplingly addicted to it. I would argue that is a mental illness just because I feel spiffy damn near all the time, where all of the 'boo hoo i'm sad because of people or feelings' type people are always upset or feeling like shit because somebody was mean to them or nobody likes them. I love myself, i don't need anything more than that; often i think about how having relationships would be nice if i ever needed to rely on somebody, but when I think about having them rely on me in that same respect, I lose all interest because I'd just rather go without my fair share of the obligation than benefit in someway, and this way I can design my life around being able to avoid 'needing' another person to rely on for favors, especially when I don't need people to fix all of those sad lonely feelings I thankfully don't have.

Of course having no friends/woman/children to rely on when I am old and feeble is going to be shitty because I legally can't buy a gun to kill myself when it gets to that point that I have no choice but to rely on another person, but hopefully the global wars and chaos induced by global warming will kill me before I reach that point. If you want to be my friend, I will try to respond to comments in a day or week or something, I just like to write things, it's relaxing and hypnotic, so I do it sometimes.

If you want to criticize me for being a shitty person, i know this, and I love it. I am an asshole because it makes me feel superior to other people, it makes you feel really good, stroking your ego and making you feel worthwhile and validated, like friendship does i'm sure, but it's an unconsensual friendship where you get all the benefit with no risk to your livelihood or wellbeing, and it feels just as good if not better for so much less work with literally zero room for error so long as you stay within the confines of the law, and within the confines of civility when out in public. Cheers.