Feels like I’m just starting NC...after 9 months of NC

I get the feeling I’m gonna be posting a lot at the moment!

I blocked him one week ago after finding out he’s in a new relationship, I spent the next 5 days talking/questioning/guessing about ‘whats he up to, what happened, what’s going on with him and her, blahblahblah’ to everyone at length and I finally decided to kill that shit yesterday.

I’ve done 2 days of not talking about him in that way. Not used my usual crutch of calling someone when I feel depressed to ruminate about him for hours. It was tough, today I felt really bad for a few hours, but I stayed in the hurricane, got lost in thought spirals, felt the feelings, cried...and then came out the other side. This time with no one to prop me up. It feels good. It feels like I’m finally handling this for myself.

It also feels like I’m starting NC for real. I guess 9 months of not seeing him or talking to him (apart from his weird reaching out communication a couple months ago) is pretty good.

I guess this is NC stage 2. Real, brutal, honest NC. It’s really hard, but I know it will lead me somewhere good. I’ve just gotta keep going. The only way out is through.