My Mommmmm

My mom and I fight every time we talk right now. Last night we were having a Christmas party and my friends started playing my instruments and I got sad because they were better than me at them and I'm 15 and hormonal and I felt like a failure but everyone was having fun so I left and sat in the bathroom for a few minutes so I wouldn't ruin the mood. I couldn't lock the door and my sister came rushing in as I was sitting on the counter clearly not doing anything and I just laughed and told her I needed a break. This morning my sister told my parents in a joking manner that she went to go fix her makeup and I was sitting on the counter and scared her, and my parents asked a few questions and I got really embarrassed and told her harshly that she shouldn't have said it, it wasn't something I wanted my parents to know. My mom interjected and said it wasn't about me, she was just saying that she got scared. I said that no, if she wanted to say that she walked in on me and I scared her, she would have. The detail that embarrassed me would have been unnecessary. This went back and forth, pretty much repeating those same points. I said fine and got back to work. She said something along the lines of 'I just wanted you to know that you can't always dictate what people say about you' and I said 'No, I can't. I would never tell my friend not to tell a story about me because it's embarrassing. But she's my sister and I can tell her that a story that she told embarrassed me and besides I wasn't talking to you so I don't understand why you said anything.' and then my mom said 'Woooooooww.' which frustrated me because it means she's done communicating and just wants me to know I'm wrong and should feel bad. Then I probably scoffed or rolled my eyes or something, and she said 'What happened? Earlier you went upstairs happy." I had come down completely fine, albeit slightly stressed because I've procrastinated with finals. Not outwardly negative, though. And so I said okay and grabbed my energy drink and she said wow again and I left.

I am annoyed with all of this because I feel like she was seeking out a reason to fight. Because she wasn't involved in the story, she had no idea what was happening before or after enough to suggest that I was wrong for briefly being upset with my sister. I am also upset at the nature of our arguments recently, which often feel like my mom makes a point or reaches my worst in the argument and stops it. There is a lack of communication and I feel much more resentment toward our recent arguments, even after they are resolved, compared to our old ones. And when I leave I hear her talk happily, which makes me feel like she is not just in a bad mood, but that she is constantly just "dealing" with me so that she doesn't have to have my energy around.