Being an introvert is not an excuse for being rude at holiday gatherings.

(This is of course excusing people who have legitimate anxiety conditions or are struggling with mental health issues. The self diagnosed “Its trendy to say I’m depressed and hate myself but have never been diagnosed and refuse to see a mental health professional” portion of reddit is not excused).

I’m seeing tons of stuff on social media lately about “how to make your holiday party more fun for introverts” and “I’m an introvert, here’s what you can expect I’ll act like over the holidays” as well as tons of life pro tips on how to avoid interacting with people around the holidays. These things often include lots of comments about people leaving as soon as the food is gone, plotting escape routes, or figuring out how to avoid everyone entirely. The tips to extroverts are borderline “don’t talk to me, give me food, and let me read or watch tv and not interact with you.”

If you don’t want to come, don’t come. Yes, you will look rude if it’s a typical family gathering, but I’d rather you lead with that rather than let me go through the work of cooking and planning while you clearly try to avoid everyone.