My [27M] best friend and ex [28M] is a complete shut-in/NEET and I don't know how to steer him clear of a depressing, lonely future.

TL;DR Best friend and ex I made online when I was a teen never goes out, doesn't have a job and has let his health & appearance go. Due to living thousands of miles away and having my own busy life, I have no idea how to help him on the right path. I'm really afraid that he's going to miss out on all the fulfilling things one can do in their 20s and 30s.

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This is a throwaway account because I'm still very active in the World of Warcraft community and I don't want him to find this. For those who don't know, the "NEET" in the title means "No Education, Employment or Training".

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So, I had no friends as a teenager. Sad, but not an uncommon story, especially since I was trying to figure out my sexuality at the same time (hint: not straight). I tried to find companionship in World of Warcraft, as many lonely teens my age did, and that was a lot more successful. I made a bunch of good buddies, some who I keep in touch with today, but the most important connection I made was with a guy on the opposite end of America. We'll call him Frank. I had nothing but time to kill and so did he, and we spent a LOT of time together online shooting the shit and role playing our dumb orcs doing dumb orc things. This was a welcome distraction from my sad life, and for him, I think it was too.

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We got close. Very close. I would wake up and message him good morning, and always say good night before I slept. We shared almost everything about ourselves with each other- sexuality struggles, life woes, mental illness, depression. Sometimes I felt ill-equipped going into online social situations like chat rooms without him, as if he was a crutch. Sometimes my mental illness got too much and he was the only one who seemed to know how to make it all better, with gentle words and an understanding soul.

Eventually the friendship between two sad young shut-in men became a long distance relationship. At the time, I was happy. We connected on pretty much every level but physical. My life was shit, my future was going nowhere, but I had him, and he had me. Deep down I knew this was not sustainable, but I tried to ignore it. It went on for at least a year. At this point, I should note that the relationship was nothing but positive. Frank is a genuinely sweet, clever and sincere guy who never expected any more out of me than what I could give. Talking to him was the bright spots in my shitty days and I often wished that it was possible to have a long lasting relationship that only existed digitally. Sometimes I thought of him as like a strange male version of 2D icon Hatsune Miku. There are probably better coping mechanisms out there.

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At one point I made the bus trip to see him and visit for a week, and what I found was - unappealing. His room was a mess and he lived with his lower-middle parents in a no rent arrangement which I'm pretty sure he was just going to maintain until they died or he did. He didn't particularly like to go out, due to being quite overweight, and he didn't make any sort of effort to groom himself. Our time together was awkward and shortly after I left we stopped dating altogether (I broke it off). However, our friendship was still strong, and he understood me like nobody else (& we had the most amount of interests in common) so I still talked to him a lot. With that said, he did withdraw from me a bit, and briefly stopped talking to me altogether when I suggested perhaps he should make some lifestyle changes like going to the gym.

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My life slowly got in better shape as time went on. I found a decent job. Nothing great, but pays the bills. I moved out of my parent's home. I found a man who lived near me and we started a good relationship. I adopted a cat. I went traveling and tried to keep myself fit. It was hard, but infinitely more rewarding than sitting in my room all day and raiding. The problem is that Frank has made zero progress to get his life together, and as his best friend for several years and ex boyfriend, I really feel like I have a responsibility to help him out with this. He was there for me in the worst times of my life, and now that I've pulled myself out of the hole, I feel like I should help him too- but I live thousands of miles away, my life is pretty busy juggling work and my new partner, and he's never actually asked me for help. Frank is definitely depressed, don't get me wrong, but with our history and my previous attempt at nudging him to lose weight backfiring, I don't know how to delicately tackle this issue without alienating him further.

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Is there anything I can do? Or is this a situation where it's probably better if I don't butt in? I think at the rate he's going now he's going to spend the rest of his life in his parents basement until he dies of inactivity/weight related problems. I can't imagine such an awful fate for someone as sweet as him.