What do I do?

Breakups

Hey, this is obviously a throwaway account, and I know some of my friends browse this thread, and I don't want to expose or anything. I kinda just want to vent out or at least get some clarification from you guys.

F [20] and my partner is M[20] as well. We're obviously both in college right now, and that is very stressful, and I get that. We've only been dating for quite a while. All his friends know me, personally and online, my friends do too. But we're in a long distance relationship.

Recently, the past couple of weeks, as you guys know it's exam season. And we both knew it is a stressful time for both us. In addition, his family is very strict so the possibility of him introducing me to his parents and/or siblings is very slim. I was willing to wait until he was ready to tell them. He recently has been having problems with his family, so he never had time to talk as much as he could. All in all, this lead to him asking to break up with me..

The reason he gave me is that it hurts him knowing that he was putting me through this 'uncertainty' that we are never going progress. That he doesn't feel good about knowing that being in a relationship with me isn't a 'for sure' and that the progressions of the relationship is not guaranteed. And with that, he feels guilty and feels pressured. He feels guilty with the fact that he wants to do so much more for the relationship but with his situation right now, he can't do it because of family, and he doesn't want me to go through that. He also told me he has been experiencing anxiety and worried about the relationship and he doesn't want to feel like that anymore and thats why he asked to break up.

On the other hand, I was willing to work through the relationship with him. I wanted to talk to him about it, but he really is stubborn and he has made his final decision, without asking me what we could do to make it work. I know it's unfair, and I should just move on, but it's hard. I feel like it's also my fault that somewhere along the relationship he has been weighing on this feeling and that I somehow made him feel insecure as I just kept loving him.

I just wanted to type and talk, because although my friends and his friends have been helpful, I can't seem to understand, I mean I get it, but at the same time, everything's a blur to me and I just feel like somehow it's my fault too?

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tl;dr : My partner wants to break up because he feels guilty of putting me through the uncertainty of the future of the relationship

Posted Dec 16, 2018, 11:16 PM UTC

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