(2x 1200ug 25i NBOME, 3x 2000ug 25c NBOH) Menacing Fractals, the Arnsvardooglian break through, and emotionless thought loop hell

This is going to be a long, but nevertheless informative and entertaining read (tldr; i make ludicrous choices sometimes); I write this piece the afternoon after my trip, so forgive any errors in brevity.

[The Comeup]

I arrived from work yesterday afternoon to find my 10 day old order of a sheet of 25c NBOH off the market had arrived; if you have any experience with ordering stuff on deepweb markets, particularly from international suppliers around holidays, you know how the wait feels. That being said I was ludicrously stoked to trip balls and what better night than a Saturday night with no intellectually demanding tasks required the next day. My package came with two extra tabs of 25i on top of the 25c (dose in title), so I thought why not use those as my base dose, along with a tab of 25c, and then if all is going peachy boost it with some 25c. 8 PM rolls around and I say goodnight to the fam, plug in all of my chargers and drop 2x 25i NBOME at 1200ug, and 1x 25c NBOH at 2000ug.

I figure the short duration of NBOH would synergies well with the longer 25i trip but this later comes to rape me in the ass hardcore as you will soon find out. Within the first 20 minutes I am getting warping, massive time dilation, and a vision that begins to become cluttered with the dark menacing circular lattice fractals NBOH/NBOMEs seem to produce for me; these warped into crazy machinescapes that I kept calling the Arnsvardooglian's in my tripping state. This come up had to have been the most intense I've ever experienced, the time dilation and transition into trip space was absolutely insane, it hit my serotonin receptors with an anvil.

[Peak]

As these fractals continued to exponentially transform into Arnsvardooglian's (the machinescape cogs that take on a personality of their own), I was beginning to become quite overwhelmed as this was my first experience breaking through on a psychedelic. With that in mind, as I began to approach my peak the cogs began to morph into hands and other three dimensions objects, and I began to feel this weird primal fear that I have never felt before. The cogs would morph and strike me with this intense feeling of fear which would also be accompanied by a weird feeling of tingling body euphoria; oddly enough even with this intense feeling of fear, I was awestruck by the power these cogs had, and the crazy dimension I was seeing these fractals take, I was totally permagrinned throughout this experience and my pupils were completely dilated to the point where you could barely see my iris. I also found myself becoming a cog and being multiplied exponentially into more cogs and working in this grand machine. It was intense, but I can't say it was necessarily bad.

[Redose Hell (the bad part)]

So after my adventure visiting the Arnsvardooglian's, I was still tripping balls and it was 12:00; my trip wasn't really bad up to this point so I figure fuck it and took 2x 2000ug 25c NBOH tabs; this was ridiculously disorienting and didn't make me trip all that harder as I was already tripping balls, I mean don't get me wrong, it made me trip harder, just not breakthrough into fractal space levels. It just prolonged it all and didn't let me come down. I was listening to tunes until about 2 and then for some reason I couldn't process the music anymore. I was over analyzing it and thought it was all one big thought loop. Then I stopped listening to music and realized that I wasn't feeling any emotions, other than this sense of doom; not like death or anything, just that I was gonna be stuck in this emotionless, thought loop, trip space forever, with tingling and crazy visuals but no emotions and this underlying feeling that everything I was doing was all one big thought loop.

So I started looking up trip reports because I could not fall asleep and kept cycling through looking up the same things over and over, realizing I did this, and then realizing that 25i was all just one big thought loop, and that it all surrounds the fractals somehow. This state was so horrible, I was tripping balls but I had no emotions, I honestly was contemplating killing myself. I thought I would never leave this state,Easily the worst feeling I've ever had in my life. I finally fell asleep around 6:45 and woke up at 8:30 after what felt like an eternity of tossing and turning in bed in that thought loop. Honestly, I have a feeling my trip would've been fine had I not redosed; my body was so overstimulated and tired of this bullshit that it just gave out all mental will to participate in my shenanigans once it realized the comedown wasn't on the horizon.

[Recovery]

I woke up and felt so depressed. I had to get back to routine, and normal life. I'm glad I did so, I decided to go surf before I had to go head off to work and that made me feel so much better. At work all I did was spun a sign for 3 hours and that physical activity added onto that feeling. By the time I got back from surfing at 10 I was almost back to baseline from tripping minus residual depression. My girlfriend was super killer and brought me Starbucks at work and that made my day, she didn't even know my trip was that bad, she just felt like doing it because I told her I had spun a sign for a few hours and was super tired. (sign spinning is a super intense workout btw)

I've been eating a ton today, high antioxidant, high fat, low sugar food, and drinking tons of WATER and unsweetened iced green tea. I post this at 6:40 PM and I feel almost 99% and I'd be there if I wasn't so sleep deprived right now, waiting to go to bed a little bit later so I don't fuck up my sleep schedule so bad. This has been a very eye opening experience and I come back from this with far more respect for psychedelics than I have ever had before, don't abuse em'. I am extraordinarily lucky to have made it out of this experience with my wits and life in tact, with no trauma to my family, and without totally space cadeting myself.

Be safe guys