Masturbating on the toilet

Is it gay to masturbate on the toilet while you’re taking a shit? I find that any time I squeeze a sizeable log out of my ass I get a boner, so I figure that it’s my body letting me know that it’s okay to enjoy the feeling and I have at it. I’ve been doing this for about four months now, and I keep a very strict fiber-rich diet to make sure that my bowel movements are on time and solid. Sometimes when I’m in the mood for something special I will eat a teaspoon of chilli flakes to really get that burning sensation the next day during one of my sessions. Anyway, I mentioned it to my friend Kyle and how it felt so amazing every time I was on the toilet, so he tried it. The problem is that he overdid it and the turd he created in his bowels was too big for his asshole, he hadn’t worked up to a shit that size yet. So he is sitting on the toilet for an hour trying to squeeze this out, and all the while he has a raging boner that won’t go down. His dad, fearing for his safety barges in to see Kyle with his dick in one hand and the other hand holding a toothbrush that he has stuck into his anus, in an effort to break the log down into smaller chunks. His dad is furious and finds out that I taught him how to get the maximum pleasure out of a daily routine, even though I didn’t say anything about a toothbrush. Now Kyle’s dad wants to hunt me down and “teach that fag a lesson for turning my son into a cocksucking homo.” But it’s not gay? If I’m not putting anything into my butt, just squeezing something out then that’s not gay, and Kyle made it gay by putting a toothbrush up his ass, so he’s the gay one, not me?

Need an answer quick, Kyle’s dad is on his way here now and I need to be able to explain it to him.