Advice please!

I’m having a hard time as a new grad nurse.

My preceptor has never given me any negative feedback— she says I’m doing really well when we talk, and how I do all of her work for her. But then apparently she told my educator it doesn’t seem like I want to be there, and I’m not engaged or asking questions, and I lack emotional support to patients.

My educator went to the director of the unit and told her about what my preceptor had said without talking to me about it first. I found out through my director, and she told me she was sad to hear I wasn’t who she thought I was. This made me really upset, and I felt like I had gotten blindsided. I know for a fact I’m not lazy, I’m a hard worker— but I didn’t know what to say because it was her word against mine. My director was really mean about it, saying no one was vouching for me, and I left her office in tears because I was so confused.

They’re thinking I’m not a good fit for the unit and asked me if I want to transfer, although transferring might not be possible either. To be honest, I want to leave. I suddenly don’t feel welcome or comfortable on the floor, and it seems like they have their minds made up about me. I’ve also been on night shifts, and it’s taking a toll on my physical and mental health.

I feel so wronged but I don’t know what to say or do... I want to transfer units because thinking about going back to work tomorrow night makes me have something like a panic attack— I start crying, I feel like I can’t breathe, and I feel like throwing up (it’s been like this for over a month because I actually feel terrible working nights). But if I can’t transfer units, I think I’d just want to quit... even though I know I shouldn’t. It’s just so much stress with working nights, anxiety from being a new on a high risk floor, and being told I’m not even a good fit. Maybe I’m not a good fit.... I’ve been in bed for the past four off days, feeling depressed and anxious— I really do feel like I’m about to crack any second.