I've (22f) never given a consensual blowjob and I want to try it for real now with my partner. Need help communicating!

I was abused as a child by a family member and multiple times as a teenager in abusive relationships. I've never given a blowjob that was consensual.

My partner before the current one was healthy but just didn't like them so I never got to try it.

Now with this one I would really like to, but I simply don't know how to bring it up.

I feel too stressed to simply take the initiative. I'd like to talk about it openly and make it so I feel comfortable and like I can stop anytime if I'm not feeling it. He's very sweet and attentive, I just have trouble communicating about sex and would like to get better at it.

I'm not trying to push doing things that are uncomfortable for me, I'd actually really like to do this. I find him extremely attractive.

Obviously therapy, I'm waiting to see a specialist for complex trauma right now.

So if you have any advice for this situation or better communication in general outside of that I'll take it! Thank you for reading :)