The strangest thing about moving past my depression and suicidal ideation is that all of a sudden I cry during movies and TV, even during happy parts that are particularly touching.

I used to never cry at all and used to feel very little emotion bar anger at particularly nasty villains but I've noticed in the past year I've become very emotionally fragile when watching TV or movies with particularly emotional scenes.

This goes for movies I haven't seen in a while. For instance, I was just rewatching the Harry Potter movies over Christmas with my family and I cried during maybe 3 or 4 of them. Not blubbering, but I had to wipe my eyes as slyly as possible so my younger siblings who I was babysitting wouldn't notice. I don't remember feeling this affected by media as much in a very long time.

It's a strange phenomenon because I feel much stronger emotionally and far better at coping with things in my everyday life. It's a fantastic feeling to actually have feelings once more. Life used to seem so bleak and pointless.

Sidenote: For anyone wondering how I got passed my issues, I attended CBT with an excellent therapist to help deal with my crippling Social Anxiety Disorder. Also my physician swapped me to a California Rocket Fuel regimen (predominantly generics if the pharmacist had them in stock) from my previous Fluozetine/Prozac. This didn't seem to take initially but a heavier dosage appears to have done the trick with no side effects.

I used to be a good student and got into medical school off the back of this. Unfortunately my depression got the best of me when I became surrounded by high achievers and struggled to keep up. My confidence in my academic ability kept me going for years whilst my self esteem outside of academia was in the toilet. When this confidence disappeared, I had nothing to keep me going and I had to take several years away from university during this period but I've since returned to my medical education and just received some excellent news in the form of Christmas Exam results.

There is light at the tunnel. Please don't give up. I was in touch with euthanasia services at my lowest point after several failed attempts on my life (saved through the heroic actions of others). Life can be a wonderful place if you get the help you need to get you past your darkest hours.

Happy New Year.