Source
r/AskWomenOver30•
AnneOR

Anybody had negative physical reactions (ie rash, pain) after sex with a partner? Rando health question

NSFW

CN... direct talk about genitals, sex

I'm in my 40s, and have been seeing somebody infrequently over the last 8 months. Twice in this time I've had what I think were Bartholin's gland cysts that showed up 2-3 few days after we had sex, then went away with Epson salt baths and hot compresses. (Never had that happen before, understand them developing in ones forties can be not good.).

In general I feel like my body has had a negative reaction to sex with him. The sex is good, we always use the non latex condoms and same lubricant I've been using for the last 5+ years. We've both been tested for all the STI's one can ask to be tested for twice in this time period, and shared results. I am 99% sure this isn't STI symptoms or a result of having sex before my body is ready to have sex. I noted that I tend to feel more sticky/sweaty after we have sex than I'm used to with past partners, thought that might be what led to the above, so I've been showering right after sex. I have also felt vaginally irritated a few times, which I've never really encountered before unless I didn't use lubricant.

6 weeks ago I developed a fungal infection, in the form of a bright red rash in my butt crack (woohoo...) Apparently not uncommon, but regular OTC fungicides didn't work and it was inflamed, so I went to the doctor and got a prescription corticosteroid + fungal ointment. It cleared up after a couple weeks and looked/felt totally normal as I continued my 4 weeks of the ointment, and then we had sex last night, I took a shower, and by morning, the area was inflamed, pink, sensitive to hot water, again, and my vagina is irritated as if I'd had hasty sex when my body wasn't prepared, which was certainly not the case.

I'm gathering my thoughts before I go to the doctor again (different doctor with the new year/new healthcare plan so I have to give the entire timeline) and i just wanted to ask other women if they've experienced anything similar. I love going to the doctor already knowing what the diagnosis probably is/being able to be succinct about relevant symptoms, but this is a new one for me, and I figured if even one human out there had something to share I'd gladly research further!

Posted Jan 6, 2019, 5:49 AM UTC

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LittleBurblingfemale 40 - 45•

Not quite the same, but I had a friend who kept passing thrush back and forth with his girlfriend. Is it possible that's what's happening with the fungal infection here?

10
mmmrosesfemale 30 - 35•

I was thinking this as well. Sometimes when I get a yeast infection (I get them vaginally and also on my skin: belly, armpits, thighs, breasts) I will also have this weird symptom where my outer labia ache after sitting for more than an hour. It took a couple trips to the doctor to connect this symptom. It doesn’t happen when I’m having a vaginal yeast infection. Bodies are weird.

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AnneOROP•

I would definitely think so in some circumstances - but as I'm 2 weeks into the antifungal corticosteriod cream treatment, it seems unlikely.

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originsofindecision•

I used to get rashes under my foreskin with a previous partner when we first started having sex. Turned out to be the brand of lube we used.

Might want to bring that up since you use some.

6
AnneOROP•

Thanks, Ive been using the same brand for so many years that I think it's unlikely but I'll be doing a contact test with the lube and the condom brand independently to see if I've developed an issue there.

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originsofindecision•

I had been too, but something about her ph levels offset it enough to start creating rashes.

If I remember correctly, we used more foreplay/switched to a Durex brand lube instead of the generic pharmacy brand and my rash disappeared.

1
jjennings089male 40 - 45•

Amazing how couples biology changes on dating and living together. Sorry geek out moment. But as you spend more time together the more you exchange bacteria and your bio chemical changes with your relationship. Sooo with that said at 6 weeks and the newly developed situation... I woulds say get your partner to go with you to an experienced sex DR. Probably Planed Parent Hood if you're politically inclined; as they are the best experienced people for this kind of situation. It maybe one of you need a light dose of antibiotics to get you both in the groove. Or in extreme cases some cultures can be added to your body to adapt your biology to your partners. I have read a few amazing articles about how cultures from one parter can be added to another to cure digestive and colon issues.

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AnneOROP•

Thanks for the thoughts. We are more friends than a couple, and we aren't monogamous (although I'm not seeing anybody else now, he has had a good amount of partners in the year I've known him) so that wouldn't make sense in our situation, but I'll keep that in mind if I ever have a serious partner again and experience similar issues!

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neverenoughkittensfemale over 30•

If it's fungal related, make sure there's no form of sugar in the lube also reduce sugar in your diet. Also ensure not to over wash the area, or at least only use water (cool water is better).

3
AnneOROP•

Thank you for the sugar reminder, I have increased my sugar intake in the last month, so that can't be helping.

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neverenoughkittensfemale over 30•

No worries, it's a very easy one to overlook and I think everyone increases their sugar intake this time of the year 😅

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AnneOROP•

Hah, he'd probably be glad to lick me to try that. We only see each other every 2-3 weeks so I'll have to wait awhile to try that :) I really didn't think you could have allergic reactions to people if you weren't exchanging fluids, but I am starting to wonder if I'm wrong.

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athenalv•

Do you take a probiotic? If not, I would try getting a good one (50 billion or more with good variety). That may help.

I was in a LDR with my last bf, and every time we had sex (every few months), I would swear he had given me an STI. I found that I was going to the doctor just about every time we had sex. Poor guy. I'm sure I seemed neurotic. The only thing that I can come up with is that because he was having sex with someone else (surprise! He went and got a gf in his city and forgot to tell me for two years), the flora was different and threw me off.

Now I've been in a relationship with my current SO for three years. We live together and have no other partners and I've never had an issue with him at all. It could be body chemistry, but I think it also has to do with the fact that our bodies are used to each other and we share the same stuff regularly.

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AnneOROP•

I'll grab one tomorrow!

My partner IS having sex with other people. It's also very true that I remember I usually undergo an adjustment period when I have a new partner where my body acts weird for a bit. Maybe because we're only having sex every 2-4 weeks my body just won't be able to adjust. Excellent food for thought, thank you!

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wandering__tfemale 30 - 35•

Was in a relationship for about 6 months before and that ex gave me 4 x UTI infection, really bad ones. Was peeing blood for all the 4 times.

Tried to shower right after sex, pee before sex and take all the necessary precaution for that but non works.

1