[Script Offer] [FM] "Green Eggs and Ham" erotic parody [story] [humor] [blowjob] [dirty talk] [namecalling] [seduction] [sexual harassment] and therefore arguably [rape]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting here, so please let me know if I'm doing anything wrong.

Anyway, I've written an erotic parody of Dr Seuss's "Green Eggs and Ham". I hope there's a dirty-minded couple out there who likes it enough to record it!

It is written for a man and a woman to perform together and is not directed at any particular listener, so hopefully I've used the right tag for that. It is mostly dirty talk except for a brief period of blowjob noises. Although the original was a children's story, this version's characters are over 18.

And without further ado, here is the script!

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Script by u/ignoregoalkeeper

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M: I am Brock, Brock the jock.

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F: I do not like you, Brock the jock!

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M: Would you like to suck my cock?

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F:

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

I would not like to suck your cock.

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M:

Would you suck on just the tip?

Would you suck it with your lips?

Would you try it to be fair?

Would you lick it here or there?

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F:

I will not suck on just the tip.

I will not suck it, not one bit.

I will not lick cock here or there.

I would not lick cock anywhere.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you suck cock in a smock?

Would you suck cock in a frock?

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F:

Not in a smock. Not in a frock.

Go put your cock in a sock.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you suck it at my house?

Would you suck it with my spouse?

Would you like to suck her tit?

Would you like to lick her clit?

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F:

I will not suck cock at your house.

I will not suck cock with your spouse.

I would not like to lick her clit.

I do not like tit, not one bit.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you suck it in a car?

Would you suck it in a bar?

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F:

Not in a car. Not in a bar.

Not at your house. Not with your spouse.

I will not suck cock here or there.

I would not suck cock anywhere.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

You may like it, you will see.

Would you suck it for a fee?

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F:

I would not suck cock on the clock.

I would not suck cock at a dock.

I would not suck cock in Bangkok.

I will not suck outside wedlock.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you rub it on your face?

Would you in another place?

Would you rub it on your hair?

Would you rub it with your pair?

Would you put it in your fanny?

Would you in another cranny?

Would you put it here or there?

Would you in your derriere?

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F:

Not on my face! Not in my fanny!

Not in my hair. Not in my pair.

I will not put cock here or there,

Or put it near my derriere.

I would not like to suck your cock.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you like it soft or rough?

Would you suck it in handcuffs?

Would you if I make you gag?

Would that be what you like, you slag?

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F:

I will not suck it soft or rough.

I do not like it in handcuffs.

Gag on your cock? I’m not livestock!

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

With Shane! With Blane! Could run a train!

Would you suck cock in a chain?

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F:

Not in a chain! Brock, let me be!

Not in handcuffs! Not for a fee!

I will not suck cock in a smock.

I will not suck cock in a frock.

I will not suck cock, tit, or clit.

I do not like it, not one bit.

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M:

Would you suck if you got drunk?

Could you, would you, drink my spunk?

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F:

I would not suck if I got drunk.

I would not like to drink your spunk.

Would you like to drink hemlock?

I do not like cock, Brock the jock.

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M: Would you suck cock in midair?

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F:

I would not, could not, in midair!

Not drunk! Not rough! Not anywhere!

Not in a chain! Not for a fee!

I do not like cock, Brock, you see.

Not in a smock. Not in a car.

Not in a frock. Not in a bar.

I will not suck cock here or there.

I do not like cock anywhere!

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Dramatic pause.

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M: You would not like to suck my cock?

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F: I would not like to, Brock the jock.

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Dramatic pause.

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M: Would you, could you, on a boat?

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F: I would not, could not, on a boat.

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M: Could you suck it down your throat?

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F:

Not in my throat! Not in my hair!

I will not, in my derriere!

Not on a boat! Not on a train!

Not in midair! Not on a plane!

I will not suck cock for a fee!

Not in handcuffs! You let me be!

I will not suck cock in a smock.

I will not, will not, in a frock.

I will not suck cock at your house.

I will not suck cock with your spouse.

I will not suck on just the tip.

I will not suck it, not one bit.

I do not like cock here or there.

I do not like cock anywhere!

I would not like to suck your cock!

I do not like cock, Brock the jock!

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Dramatic pause.

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M:

You do not like cock, so you say.

Try it! Try it! And you may.

Try it and you may, I say.

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F:

Brock! If you will let me be,

I will try it. You will see.

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(Insert facefucking noises - or gentler blowjob noises if you prefer, but facefucking should sound more rhythmic. While receiving the blowjob the man might say something like the next four lines.)

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M:

You do so like to suck and lick!

You do so like to suck my dick!

Suck and it will make you gag!

Drink my spunk down your throat, slag!

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(Blowjob noises end and the woman regains breath.)

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F:

Say! I like to suck a cock!

I do, I like cock, Brock the jock!

And I would suck cock down my throat!

And drink the spunk. And in a boat.

And in a chain. And for a fee.

Cock is so good, so good, you see!

So I will suck cock soft and rough.

And I will suck cock in handcuffs.

And I will suck cock in a smock.

And I will suck cock in a frock.

And I will suck cock at your house.

And I will suck cock with your spouse.

And I will suck cock here and there.

Say! I will suck cock anywhere!

I do so like to suck a cock!

Thank you, thank you, Brock the jock!