FR - Date with Vietnamese girl (and her friend)

I'll try to make this useful rather than just a brag. One of the best dates I've had in a while with a few interesting obstacles compared to normal, I'll try to point out things I learned or think I did right/wrong.

I was visiting my hometown over the weekend and I met up with a very cute Vietnamese girl off Tinder who was about 5 years younger than me and doing post-grad study with a full scholarship. In other words, very intelligent as well as gorgeous. I'm really not sure how I did it but here we are.. Funnily enough she asked 'what are you looking for' before meeting and I said 'just to meet new friends' as I read somewhere that this takes any pressure off, and she actually took that literally. She brought her friend along! Which sounds like a complete disaster, but the friend was not only into me, but shy and reserved, so she hung back and didn't cockblock. Towards the end of the night she bailed home 'tired' so the 2 of us could be alone.

I had flirting on the mind as I never do enough of that, I knew I had to push it. I did discover quite early on that she didn't like anything sexually themed, probably a cultural thing. There was a dried abalone (seafood) in the shop that looked exactly like a pussy and she wouldn't even look at it again after she noticed it. And some girls here wear 90's style hipster clothing like no bra with their nipples poking through (not a good thing with the average weight of the girls who do this!) and she recoiled at the sight of them too. So I avoided any sexuality based flirting. Instead I found that push-pull really worked. E.g. we were at a bar and she offered me her water bottle. 'ugh, nah I don't want to catch your germs' with a smile. Then pulling her in for a hug after she acted offended.

I tried to keep the physicality more low key than I otherwise would while her friend was there (question: is this necessary? I wasn't sure) but luckily we were in crowded bars and she willingly sat right next to me most of the time, so I'd put my hand on her back or rub her leg a lot of the time (hooray for those tiny short shorts that asian girls love to wear), and it was loud enough to lean in and brush her hair back while talking in her ear. So kino was always pretty natural. She never flinched away or moved my hand or reacted badly so I probably could have even pushed it further, but I did have her relatively traditional cultural background in mind.

After the friend went home, she hinted that the night wasn't over yet ("maybe we should go one more place since you're leaving soon") - I suggested her place to 'trade music' thinking she might be ready for that kind of thing but she said her housemate is horrible and unfriendly so we couldn't go there. I was staying at my mother's place.. so that was out. Well, she would have been asleep in the other part of the house, but still. I didn't need to possibly make things really awkward.

So we went to a beach that's near her house. After getting out of the car I said 'hold my hand' in a firm voice and put my hand out, because I actually hadn't held hands with her yet despite getting pretty comfortable all day. I guess here was my only real shit test - "is this just as friends?" With a skeptical raised eyebrow. I just smiled and said maybe, and she took my hand without any further argument. We walked along to a secluded part of the beach with a bench and sat there for a while. Went in for a kiss after about 10 minutes, that went well, and I jokingly said "this is what friends do.... Isn't it?". Probably spent another 40 minutes there talking, making out more (I always pulled away first), massaging each others backs/shoulders, until it got too cold to stay any longer. She told me she'd date me if I lived here, but she 'doesn't want anything casual'. I just said something like 'yeah.. I'm not sure what I had in mind there when I met you'. I suppose I just ignore what she says she 'wants' because she knows I'm not moving back and will only visit for a while next time I do visit, and anything that happens it's her choice to let it happen right? For girls, 'casual' or 'non committed' seems to mean to them that you just want to fuck them once without much connection and never speak again, but that's never really my goal. Ideally it would be the occasional hey I'm coming down this weekend, let's hang out for a day or two, and sex just happens as part of that. So that's what I assume is going to happen next time now that I've set the tone that we sure aren't 'friends'!

Anyway I took her back home and dropped her off, had one last mad kiss out the front which she put a lot of passion into, and messaged her a bit later on and the next day when I was waiting for my flight. She said to tell her when I'm coming next and she'll pick me up from the airport.

Sadly I'm not coming back for probably 6 months, I won't hold my breath that she will still be single, but I'll keep in touch and see what happens because she was a lot of fun.

Good:

-Escalated kino as much as I should have, without any 'back off' signals / actually did enough teasing (push-pull) / calibrated when I saw she didn't like overtly sexual things.

-Went to multiple venues / took the girls places they didn't know about because they aren't locals, and made them try new food that they loved.

-I was overall in state and confident due to all the supplements I've been taking and eating well and sleeping well, and I've found some interesting indian herbs that have seriously changed my mental state from 40% up to 85%+ where 100% is god mode. My 'old self' of even a few months ago wouldn't have had such an awesome day.

-Gaming the friend and focussing on her sometimes, especially when my girl went to the bathroom. If we sat in stony silence waiting for her to come back, she might have possibly decided to burn me to the ground just to get out of there, and I think in these situations the 3rd wheel has ALL the power and I have none at all.

-Overall held the interest of a hot, smart girl who I would never have been able to cold approach for more than 6 hours, so plenty more reference experience and shattering my limiting beliefs there.

Bad:

-I felt a little bit insecure at times. She does need to be kept entertained to some extent. If there was a lull in the conversation she would try to keep it going but I felt a slight sense of her 'getting bored' sometimes when nothing was happening, whereas I can personally enjoy some quiet time or listen to the music. I was a bit worried that some other guy with a bit more charisma or looks might bump into her when she went to the bathroom etc and ruin the whole afternoon, but it didn't happen. Also, she didn't really 'reciprocate' kino. She was almost completely neutral and nonreactive. Not uncomfortable, but she wasn't doing much of the work most of the night. But again, this might have just been because her friend was there. Once we were alone on the beach, and I had kissed her, she was initiating massages, and putting her arm around me while we were walking back to the car, loved it when I picked her up and carried her some of the way.

-Intentions: I am always hesitant to really tell girls or don't know how to tell them that short term sex and non-committal hanging out is mainly what I want, which I believe I need a fair bit of before I am in a position to 'choose' who I want a relationship with. Especially with girls like this who back home would be married by 21 / disowned by their family for pashing a stranger in a park at 11pm. Even in this case I know I've gone closer to 'boyfriend' than lover by not pushing harder to fuck her on the first night, whether it was possible with her or not I don't know and I didn't feel the need to try that. She will probably be a bit hurt if we have sex next time and I don't indicate that I plan to move there to see her more or something. Yet... do I feel guilty when I have desires too, and she also knows exactly what my position is - that I have a long term job where I live now and there aren't any where she lives??