I failed
I am studying abroad at the moment in Spain. There are four other girls from my university in Ireland studying here too. I'm not really friends with them, but they all live together. I got my results back from my Christmas exams and I failed all of them. Throughout the semester my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't even leave my room, let alone go to class. I couldn't even check my emails because I was so anxious. I feel like a failure and I let every body down. I don't know how I'm going to make up the credits this semester. I physically won't be able to. I talked to my academic coordinator back in Ireland and she said that if I have documentation proving I have anxiety, I can maybe be excused for not making up the credits but I don't know. The worst part is that in Spain they publish everyone's results in a spreadsheet so everyone can see what everybody got. It's so embarrassing. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of my anxiety getting in the way of everything. I hate being a student. I can't even put into words how much I hate it, but I have another year left and then I have to do a master's to do the job I want. I'm starting to think it was a mistake coming here because if I had stayed in Ireland, I wouldn't have been such a miserable failure. I don't know what to do and I just want to go home.
Posted Feb 6, 2019, 6:18 PM UTC
Sib, deep breath. You are not the first student to be overwhelmed with health issues - mental or otherwise. You're not a horrible person, you're just sick right now. Mental illness is your brain getting sick. That's it.
So, first things first, are you getting help with your anxiety? There are treatments. You need them. it might take some trial and error to get things under control, but you need to start the process. Second, school. Sounds like you need a combo of a doctor/therapist and talking with the school/program/whoever. You've got paperwork probably to do. If you need help figuring out how to see a doctor or what you need to do for the school, ask!
If you need to go home, it happens. If you need to take a leave of absence for a bit, it happens. Don't compare yourself to others - you're not them, and you probably dont know their struggles anyway. Trust me, they have struggles too!