Long term couples who have not had sex, what do you do to make your relationship work?
Posted Feb 18, 2019, 4:16 AM UTC
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asking as an asexual who will probably never find love.
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yep. no sexual attraction to people either.
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What about a drive for companionship, the physical presence of another or the interaction?
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yeah sure. not speaking for all asexuals but I definately crave that kind of emotional bond with someone.
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I can still have sex yeah, but I don't want to. I don't get anything out of it either.
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Similarly matched sex drives is a core tenet of any relationship. And it is very hard to work around it, so you'll have to just grind through people or try to find groups of asexual people.
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I feel like dating other people without that intent would kind of be like using them? I mean I don't want to just "grind through people" like levels in a game or something.
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Oh no, by "grind through" I mean each time trying to figure out if you're compatible and moving on if not, or sticking around if it looks good. There's going to be a lot of incompatible people, even for the average joe. Due to your less common inclinations you may need to be upfront about everything to save time.
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Try an open relationship. Experiencing again what it is like to date and stuff can spark a desire to feel that way with the person you have been with for years.
Or it may help you realize there are better matches for each of you.
Think of it as an accelerator to where your relationship would end up as eventually.
It may seem taboo. And is easy to shun the idea. But open relationship are a good tool. As a short term thing or as a life style.
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Cheat
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So my gf is currently sick and on a waiting list to get surgery. We are both anxious and worried about it. We both love each other and enjoy sex but recently she hasn't been feeling well and not really in the mood so we've been doing other things as a way to also keep ourselves from worrying so much. We've been watching shows together and cooking together as much as we can. I'm taking her on a little trip next month and we are going to do nothing but eat out at fancy places and anywhere she wants. Loving someone is a lot more than just sex.
I hope everything goes well for you guys.
Thank you. I have a feeling we're gonna be OK. I also think you're gonna find someone who's just right and you're gonna be just fine with each other, you'll love each other to bits and you'll go on little trips together too. It's a huge planet and we're all just looking for someone to love you just gotta keep looking.