Source
r/illnessfakers•
versperalaxis

Too much hate in this sub

go ahead and delete, mods, if this isn’t allowed.

to put it bluntly, i’m seeing a lot of hateful, snarky comments about personal things. aren’t we here to basically showcase how these people are spreading false info and being munchies?

all in all, i’m just seeing rude comments all over. nitpicky. unnecessary.

can we change that?

edit: yeah, being downvoted in the comments for explaining what was going on is giving me reason to think this is a hate sub now.

edit 2: i know that downvoting isn’t mean, i’m talking about the context of the comments

Posted Feb 26, 2019, 10:11 PM UTC · edited

10182
BlackWidow221B•

No I totally agree. I tend to gently call out the nitpicky posts (no confrontation, just rational discussions), and I've noticed that there are a lot. :/

Not WKing, I just tend to play devil's advocate. I'm someone who is chronically ill but also worked in the medical field so I can see both sides. 😊

37
versperalaxisOP•

glad you are fighting it, though! and i deal w mental illness, often tying into this, so i get you.

10
ohhhaiimsam•

I kinda agree. That post about Amanda liking Greys Anatomy has NOTHING to do with MBI/OTT behavior and can make a lot of people feel uncomfortable or fake for enjoying a popular medical drama if they also happen to be chronically ill which is stupid af IMO.

27
versperalaxisOP•

exactly. what made me write this post was someone commenting on the size of someone’s breasts whilst maybe (not) being pregnant. like... what does that have to do w anything? not to mention a few things talking about people’s looks, usually on the bad side.

20
ohhhaiimsam•

Agreed. Posts of that nature are NOT call-out posts. Commenting on every single aspect of someone’s life not only floods the sub but is unnecessary, often nit picky, and rude.

If you think someone isn’t pregnant, their breast size has nothing to do with it. Post about something medical and legit. If you put anyone under a microscope you’ll see inconsistencies.

8
MBIresearch•

Agree.

2
ReineDeLaSeine14•

Then why is it allowed?

2
GavinAmy123•

Breasts change when you are pregnant 99.99% of the time. The subjects are trying to portray as sick so looks are a big part of that.

1
versperalaxisOP•

yes but if you’re small the chances of becoming a G cup isn’t really a thing. the person acted like every woman gets gigantic boobs when she gets pregnant

1
GavinAmy123•

Happens more often than not. More obvious in a smaller woman, a very common change and a big part of is she/isn't she.

1
MBIresearch•

It has everything to do with being MBI/OTT. Liking/talking about "Grey's" is extremely common in this population. ETA:This is not to say all fans of Greys' are OTT, but most of the OTT'ers are notorious for being into it.

9†
ohhhaiimsam•

It’s a TELEVISION SHOW that’s finishing its fifteenth season. Lots of people like it, OTT or not, it’s not a “prerequisite” for being OTT, it’s a television show that’s arguably one of the most popular. Almost all of my friends, sick or not, watch it.

9
MBIresearch•

Hence,

ETA:This is not to say all fans of Greys' are OTT, but most of the OTT'ers are notorious for being into it.

13
SpaceCatMatingCall•

I understand where you are coming from and to the majority of the population that isn't suffering from OTT/MBI it's just that: a long running popular show that a lot of people watch. But in the hands of an OTT its something different. Especially one that essentially writes borderline incestuous co dependency medical "stories" that paint a picture of fetishizing illnesses and also tries anything in their power to create their own medical drama. They admit to being obsessed with Grey's and based on their own actions they have displayed a desire to become what they are obsessed with. Their fake overdose and mental health issues emerged shortly after becoming obsessed with the story they were writing about a severely mentally ill person. When someone is fetishising things, things directly related to that fetish become relevant and they clearly have a fantasy world involving being tragically sick. One could even consider a binge marathon of Grey's "disease hunting" and "educational research" to further the wanted agenda. Remember that shortly after we mentioned the marathon they have eluded to RLS, epilepsy, EBV..

Let's change movie and scenario entirely for example: Men in Black is a very popular well loved and well known story and it would be totally nitpicky to mock a healthy person for being in love with the movie and watching it regulary. But in the hands of a person with say a paranoia related mental health conditions, their disorder may lead them to believe completely that this isnit just a movie it's actually what's happening in the world and a guidebook on how to identify aliens and secret agents in New York City. And suddenly it becomes very clear why they watch it on loop, what they get out of the movie, and why them liking it is not nitpicking on their personal choices but pointing out behaviors fueled by the disorder that professionals may want to address.

13
OTTCynic•

My issue with that post wasn't so much the post itself but the commentary that followed. A few people (myself included) simply expressed that it felt a little nitpicky. I agree that a lot of OTTs like Grey's and that it is relevant in that it plays into their romanticization of illness/hospitals. But I have also seen a large number of healthy individuals who are about Ren's age post about binging Greys.

While I found the post to be a little nitpicky, I didn't find it nitpicky enough to warrant removal. However, I was a little disgusted by some of the commentary/responses to people who were simply saying they didn't find them watching Greys to be particularly unusual - the comments that weren't "yes they are sooooo stealing all their illnesses from greys" were met with hostility - being told to back off/stop over-reacting. I believe there was even a "jump off my d*ck" that was completely uncalled for. The OP even admitted that they only posted it to be funny - its my understanding that the purpose of the sub isn't to make fun of the subjects. Hostile comments seemed to get more upvotes and the post in general got a lot of upvotes after the comments were made. There were a few posts made around the same time (some that have since been deleted) that really seemed to just be trying to poke fun at the subjects and try to get a rise out of them. I know I personally have been a little more hesitant to post/comment in the past few days due to the more hostile/hateful vibe.

But I have also been around this sub since its birth (originally under a different name so I am aware that the sub does go through periods like this. And with some of the subjects being less active than normal it tends to lead to more nitpicky posts as people attempt to keep the conversation going.

3
[deleted]•

[deleted]

-1
GavinAmy123•

It does though in my opinion which is just as valid as your opinion it does not. Clearly it is a common overlap between most of our subjects, it's not a mega famous must watch show at all nowadays. I feel as well that is relevant in that it is a medical show. If there was this overlap of say friends then yeah not relevant.

9
The_Grape_Escape•

People use down votes similar to a dislike button no matter how many times they are told that's not what it's for. Today will be especially bad with down votes. Anytime there is a new person added to the sub, especially if the person has a significant number of followers who are active, which today's addition does AND the community is divided on adding the person in the first place, there's a ton of tension on top of a lot of new people lurking on the sub. Undoubtedly, some of Tina's followers will hear about our sub, will make their way over, and will down vote every comment because taking part of this sub makes us horrible people. Or, they may create accounts and white knight...every once in a while. This drama is normal with a new person added, especially one this controversial. Like the mod said, just report stuff. No need to engage negativity because that only puts you at risk for being kicked off the sub too.

26
versperalaxisOP•

thanks for the response! makes sense. i see you’re the one that commented on another thread of mine; i want to clear up i meant no snark or anything, so i’m sorry!

11
The_Grape_Escape•

No worries. Simple miscommunication. It happens! All good.

8
lassie2011•

Was Tina just approved? I must have missed that.

2
MBIresearch•

Yes. Flair: TSF.

2
usernamesarehard_idk•

Totally agree. So many people being so hateful. This sub was made with a good purpose, to call out OTTers and redirect their actions/comments so people who are learning from them actually learn good info, but it’s moved in a bad direction since then.

25
Regular_Response•

I'm not trying to be argumentative or snarky here, but I have to ask. What makes you think the point of this sub is to "call out OTTers and redirect their actions/comments so people who are learning from them actually learn good info"? I've always heard this sub came from either lolcows or kiwifarm (which I think are basically the same thing?), and they're not known for being good, helpful, or generally kind. If this sub comes from them, surely that means the point is primarily snark?

Again, none of the above is meant in a sarcastic or snarky way. I genuinely don't understand why there seems to be such a disconnect between how some people see the sub and think it should be and how others do, and while I totally understanding wanting this to be the point of the sub - is it?

15
usernamesarehard_idk•

When I joined the sub, that’s what I was told was the reason for it- to help inform people what wasn’t correct coming from OTTers and to provide the real info so chronically ill people, medical staff, people with CI people in their lives, etc. could know what to really do in certain situations or what things really look like. And that’s why I joined... because that’s a worthy cause. And being chronically ill and a nursing student, I’ve learned a lot.... but I’ve also seen a lot of hate. My question is, if that isn’t why you joined, why did YOU join? (Like you said, no hate at all. I’m just curious). What makes this not a hate sub if the only point is just to call out fakers?

15
Regular_Response•

I don't think this is a hate sub, though I agree it can get hateful. I'm not going to lie to you: I primarily joined because I enjoy the drama. I don't make hateful comments, I don't enjoy hatefulness, but I was taken in by Aubrey and was mesmerized to see everyone here reveal all her lies, every time she posted. I have a CI and work in the medical community, so there's a lot of reasons I stuck around, but the drama was what brought me initially.

I think there is space between being 100% what you described (which is good but also boring and ripe for people to rip each other apart because they don't live up to whatever super high standards they set) and a hateful space. I think this place can be educational and also have a sense of humor and admit that, no matter what we proclaim our intention to be, the people we post about will always accuse us of being hateful even if we're not.

Not every single reddit sub has to be 100% and only a worthy cause.

(Thanks for answering so nicely and I hope you don't read any hate in this comment either.)

15
MBIresearch•

Not every single reddit sub has to be 100% and only a worthy cause.

You said this perfectly! I think we have found a middle-ground here, after some serious growing pains, and I actually think the recent drama here ultimately bore valuable fruit. From my perspective, being that we identify primarily as a place to call out fakers, the fact that there are more subs now discussing these topics is a net positive. This way, whatever one's preferred approach to these topics, there's a community for that. Wanna see a hate sub? Check out kiwifarms. Want chronic illness support, and to emote about the personal impact of our subjects' actions? Apply to join r/TrueChronicIllness. Want less snark, more blogging? go to r/malingering. Want to be able to engage in noir humor and schadenfreude, while also knowing that we still are here to raise awareness and educate people to develop their own bullshit detectors? Stick around. Want any or all of the above? That's cool, too! :)

Edit: correction of sub name

8
ReineDeLaSeine14•

Half the shit people say here is factually incorrect. It wears me out sometimes.

5
TittyVonBoobenstein•

edit: yeah, being downvoted in the comments for explaining what was going on is giving me reason to think this is a hate sub now.

Disagreement doesn’t equal hate.

24
versperalaxisOP•

what i meant by that is they downvoted a valid point bc it called out their behaviour. i know that doesn’t mean people are being mean to me haha

1†
GavinAmy123•

They might not think it's a valid point though.

11
versperalaxisOP•

i think going after personal issues constitutes hate, and if people don’t agree w that, so be it. but i have every reason to believe that’s hate

2†
GavinAmy123•

Fair enough. Just they have as much right to think it's not hate. I totally agree with you 'so be it' why not just report it to the mods and move on. Let the mods decide what they want to do, they may have differing opinions to each other just as you have differing opinions to those thinking it's not hate. Just because the first one thinks the same as you doesn't make the dissenting mod wrong. Really not worth getting wound up about.

4
gimp4lyfe•

I’ve found that when you try and tell someone their post/comment is nit picky and or hateful you get serious downvoted and sometimes the mods side with the nit picky post saying it is just fine. How can we be held to standards of this not being a hate site when some of the mods don’t see the difference between a nit picky/hate comment and an actual constructive post/comment? This is a legit question I have not trying to be snarky. I really want to know. How is as a sub can be held to standards of not being a hate site when one or more of the mods don’t see the hate or nit pickiness of a post/comment even when multiple people bring it to their attention.

24
GavinAmy123•

What you may consider nit picking others may not. Just because you (or even several) people perceive a post as hate does not automatically make you right.

8
gimp4lyfe•

Oh yes I do realize this. Everyone has their own opinions and just because they are not the same doesn’t make one right or wrong.

I really just want to have an answer to my question. Like what do you do when you think something it nit picky/hate and one mod agrees with you but another one agrees with the post/comment. This is what confuses me.

3
MBIresearchMOD•

If this happens, please message us with details and we will discuss it and come to a consensus. We try our best to be consistent but we will inevitably sometimes have some variance, as we are individuals. Still, users deserve us being on the same page, so if it appears that we aren't, please message us and ask us to evaluate our positions and make a uniform decision.

7
GavinAmy123•

You let the mods have a chance to discuss it and then move forward from the decision made.

4
Regular_Response•

edit: yeah, being downvoted in the comments for explaining what was going on is giving me reason to think this is a hate sub now.

Dude, people down voting you is annoying and sometimes unwarranted but it doesn't make this or anywhere else a hate site. If you can't deal with down votes, I feel like reddit is going to be hard for you.

22
versperalaxisOP•

as i said in another comment, i know people downvoting isn’t being mean. it’s the content that was downvoted that’s the issue. people were downvoting a perfectly valid response to a question. if you can’t understand context, i don’t think reddit is for you either.

also people accused me of being one of the OTTs and i defended myself

2†
GavinAmy123•

Everyone is here for their own reasons. Sure there will be ' nit picking' posts. For a start what one person sees as that, someone else won't, it's inevitable and that disagreement is not automatically hate. The only fair approach is to alert the mods and move on. If the mods disagree with you on an issue then so be it. Doesn't matter if the mods originated on lolcow or whatever, people are allowed to express themselves on different mediums as free speech. This is just a generalisation and my thoughts, of course anyone is welcome to agree or disagree.

15
[deleted]•

I dont understand why this isnt more widely accepted. If you dont agree or you find it is offensive in some way report/block/move along.

17
Gimpbarbie•

I think it's people's way of blowing off steam, not saying it's right or not but people say dumb shit when they're frustrated and having your illness misrepresented or exploited is frustrating!

12
versperalaxisOP•

i get that, for sure. it seems counterproductive and does make this a hate sub.

9†
Gimpbarbie•

No it makes hateful sub members, don't paint everyone with the same brush.

11
versperalaxisOP•

fair

8
Gimpbarbie•

I'm a fairly snarky person myself but I hope I never cross the line from humour to cruelty.

6
ReineDeLaSeine14•

And I’m frustrated when information about conditions is wrong and that misinformation gets upvoted to the sky...and correction is seen as WKing or blogging. This sub is supposed to be factual, not a place to vent.

2
[deleted]•

Why do we always get these call out posts when a new person is brought up as discussion?

8†
Alexander_Lich•

Part of me thinks its the person being talked about that makes an account and then says this. Not all the time, but its happened in the past

10†
versperalaxisOP•

i’m definitely not that person

0†
JerkRussell•

Your vehemence on this issue is going to get you questioned.

-5†
versperalaxisOP•

how am i forcing anything

1
versperalaxisOP•

it has nothing to do w the new person, i haven’t done my research on her. but every comment in that thread, along w other ones, have stupidly rude comments. talking about people’s bodies negatively, looks, etc.

edit: do you folks just downvote for fun? my response was perfectly valid and explained further

8†
I-Love-Play-Rehersal•

Honestly this sub makes me scared to comment anything as people downvote like crazy. Especially if you can see reasoning behind someone’s actions, it feels like you have to hate everything tiny thing someone does or you get downvoted like crazy

21
The_Grape_Escape•

Say your piece! Don't worry about down votes. They happen. So what?! They often pop up initially and are later balanced out. If they aren't, that's still okay. Having an opinion that doesn't exactly match up is fine. It's not your fault that people use the down vote as a dislike button. You kind of just have to detach yourself from the votes on this sub because it's so random. But, that doesn't mean your opinion isn't valuable.

19
MBIresearch•

THIS! You are entitled to your opinion, popular or not.

9
LianCoubert•

Why even care if you get down voted though? There is literally no real-life consequence to it.

9
hillke•

It can take you out of the conversation- after so many downvoted your comment gets auto-folded up so you might get skipped completely. I don’t like that bit.

7
[deleted]•

That is honestly all of reddit. Massive downvoting is just kinda how it is

8
versperalaxisOP•

exactly! i don’t get it!

3
MBIresearchMOD•

We do have a lot of dark humor and snark here, but superficial nitpicky comments about a subject's appearance outside of it being relevant are not okay. Please report if you see any problematic comments so they are brought to our attention. As for downvotes, a lot of people who dislike this site or are friends with someone discussed will downvote bomb here. This sub discusses a controversial, highly-polarized subject, so stuff like this is unfortunately common (even though it's against reddiquette).

14
QueenieB33•

That makes a lot of sense actually, because I've noticed every time I make a post about ALF I get at least half a dozen comments saying that she genuinely shows hyper mobility (she does, but that's never been the point of any of my posts about her) and lots of WKing and DVing. Whereas, I can post about AJ and everyone is on board lol. I think folks allow their personal feelings (whether they "like" the approved topic) to interfere with discussion.

8
versperalaxisOP•

will do :)

1
GavinAmy123•

I hate this type of post lol

7
versperalaxisOP•

sorry, i suggest scrolling past it!

13
GavinAmy123•

😂😂😂

5
PsychologicalBody4•

not an airport no need to announce departures, and the title isn't going to help at all.

8
versperalaxisOP•

i’m not departing, but i thought it was worth noting that this sub is fuelling hate :)

12
Party_WurmpleMOD•

Report the comments and posts if they are hateful/too nit picky. We are NOT a hate sub. However, we need people to report those things as we don’t always see them otherwise.

1
versperalaxisOP•

sounds good, thanks!

4
ReineDeLaSeine14•

Since there is no longer a Disrespect option for reporting, what should be used?

0
Party_WurmpleMOD•

Any option is fine (or you can enter your own if you would like). We see all flagged posts in the same place, and review anything that’s been flagged before taking action.

1
ReineDeLaSeine14•

Thanks! I’m in the app so I haven’t seen the option to enter a reason like on desktop.

1