Today I learned almonds are not nuts and that I am a stupid fucking cunt.
reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/b62tk/saudi_ara...Posted Feb 25, 2010, 3:31 PM UTC
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Furthermore, "Almond" is a technical term. The thing we eat is called an "Amond." They're only referred to as "Almonds" when they're still on the tree. The reason for this lies in how almonds are harvested. The harvesting process is simple. You go up to the ripe trees, and shake the L out of them.
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Dad?
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You just made my day.
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You accidentally what to up to the trees?
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Fixed.
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Anybody who says almonds or peanuts aren't nuts can fuck themselves. Seriously. Fuck right off.
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What's the deal with grape nuts?
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They're kitty litter!
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It's like chewing on gravel.
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Dane Cook stole his non-act.
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The black box? If it's the only thing that survives the crash, why not make the whole plane out of....the black box?
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Forget grape nuts, what's the deal with corn nuts?
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So let me get this straight- almonds, cashews, and peanuts are all not nuts.
What is a nut?
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This is a nut.
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Your boy needs therapy.
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Lie down on the couch! What does that mean?
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You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut!
(so glad i got to add my favorite part!)
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Purely psychosomatic,
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FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST
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TA TA TA
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Tag that with NSFW next time!
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Carrots
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I fucking hate carrots. I planted carrot seeds last year and there's no sign of a carrot tree anywhere, just some stupid weeds.
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Wait a couple of years for those weeds to grow into trees. Wait a couple of years more then BAM! Carrot fruits!!!
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An acorn.
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They may say it ain't a nut, but they also say ain't ain't a word, so...
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FUCK YOU
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WTF, almonds, cashews and peanuts....are...not...nuts? My whole universe is unraveling before my eyes.
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Almonds and walnuts are the edible seeds of drupe fruits — the leathery "flesh" is removed at harvest.
Brazil nut is the seed from a capsule.
Cashew nut is a seed.
Coconut is a dry, fibrous drupe.
Horse-chestnut is an inedible capsule.
Macadamia nut is a creamy white kernel (Macadamia integrifolia).
Peanut is a seed. It is actually not a nut at all, but a legume.
Pine nut is the seed of several species of pine (coniferous trees).
Pistachio nut is the seed of a thin-shelled drupe.
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It just gets worse. I'm going back to bed.
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I don't care how science classifies a macadamia because I classify it as delicious.
Especially in cookies.
Oatmeal cookies.
Oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips & macadamia "nuts".
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That which we call a cookie by any other name would taste as sweet.
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Dude, I live on an almond farm and I didn't even know this.
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You stupid fucking cunt. (Nor did I)
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TIL...
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Cameron!
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Other interesting edible plant facts:
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The 'seeds' on strawberries aren't really seeds.
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The wild ancestor of tomatoes was the size of a blueberry.
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The wild ancestor of corn (teosinte) hardly had any kernels and was practically inedible.
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Avocados would likely be extinct if humans didn't cultivate them. No other animals eats them and the animals that acted as seed dispersal agents went extinct thousands of years ago.
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Citrus fruits are berries
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I can't take this right now, please stop
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Citrus fruits are a more specific kind of berry called a hesperidium. The part that you eat are "hairs" that fill with fluid.
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Almonds are nuts.
No, I don't give a shit whether or not that is true. I just love it when someone gets so pissed off over something so inconsequential.
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That works? I'll have to try it. I know a few of them.
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In a related note, the cashew isn't a true nut, either. Getting even crazier, there's a fruit called the cashew apple, and it's not even a real fruit! It's called a pseudocarp, and it's attached to the hard casing of the cashew nut.
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Here's the craziest part. The cashew that sits on top has acid surrounding it.
I saw one in India. My tour guide said that people see it's a cashew and think they can eat it raw, and then get severely burned by the acid.
They need to be cleaned and dried out before eating.
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That tour guide also sold me this mule - which is completely worthless
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Did you cook it with curry? Curry mule sells like hot cake there
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Bless you.
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I read something recently about the cashew. Isn't there an oil surrounding it before harvesting that is severely caustic?
Makes me wonder why humans bothered to mess with it.
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From wikipedia: "The seed is surrounded by a double shell containing a dermatogenic phenolic resin, anacardic acid, a potent skin irritant chemically related to the more well known allergenic oil urushiol which is also a toxin found in the related poison ivy." The seed in this case referring to the cashew nut.
And from A UGA professor's site: "It was planted in India initially to reduce erosion, and uses for the nut and pseudofruit, the cashew apple, were developed much later. Nut domestication predated the arrival of Europeans to Brazil..." So, I guess the natives in Brazil knew what to do with them, but the rest of us were at a loss. Apparently, between the shell of the part that contains the cashew nut and the cashew nut there's that layer of oil, so that when you go to separate the two, you get contamination. They roast the little guys to fix that.
Sorry for the superlong comment.
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This knowledge will serve you well for the rest of your life.
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To be fair, fucking cunts are the only ones I care about, as opposed to the non fucking variety.
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So is that why i'm allergic to Almonds and not cashews?
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OMG. You're allergic to anything that ISN'T a nut. God help you.
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If Almonds are not nuts, then the Almond Joy jingle is false advertising.
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♫ Sometimes you feel like a drupe, sometimes you dont! ♫
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Pork is not white meat. Shhh. Advertisers lie:(
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crazy but true
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How rude!
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<<Laugh Track>>
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So are they safe to give to babies? Unlike nuts? Can my kid try marzipan?
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Guess I'm in the "stupid fucking cunt" boat as well... this boat smells a little funky
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I hate the fact that reddit is getting progressively more negative. sad
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I love the fact that some people are progressively trying to keep it more positive. Happy.
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lol...well put
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Next you'll be telling me a tomato is a fruit.
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A berry, to be specific.
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I'm pretty sure I was the stupid fucking cunt. Trying to steal my thunder eh?
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I thought almonds were nuts, too!
But I already knew you were a stupid fucking cunt.
Turns out almonds are closely related to apricots and peaches.
They are called drupes.
Packages and extentions to Drupal should be called drupes.
...and I have a pome for you.
TIL why apple is "pomme" in French.
That diagram is turning me on.
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Who didn't?