Extremely confused/depressed

My ex boyfriend and I broke up back in August and I haven’t spoken to him in months. He added me on Snapchat the other day and messaged me last night. It was just the basic hey how’s it going conversation. Suddenly though I feel extremely depressed and had a rush of emotions come back to me. I still love him and idk why he decided to reach out. I don’t want to ask him why he reached out though for fear of what he could say or do. I so badly want to be with him but I don’t want to get hurt. What should I do? I’ve been taking the backseat in the conversation and letting him initiate because I don’t want to come across needy or too much. I feel like I’m losing my mind there’s so much I want to say to him, but I don’t want to ruin anything that could potentially come from this.