I hate seeing family

for context i have REALLY bad haphephobia

I havent seen extended family in years because they really really dont understand that I CANNOT touch them. not even a pat on the back or tapping to get my attention. mu aunt and uncle are coming today and though my parents talked to them I'm so ficking anxious!!!

I also have PTSD and an eating disorder and the phobia is from the PTSD and I had an awful nightmare and woke up crying and its triggering my ed and literally everything is going down hill rn!!! I'm supposed to go to my bf's school for lunch but the thought of eating is making me nauseous and I dont know if I can, but he has an ed too and I dont wanna trigger him???literally everything is s rn ahah