What is wrong with me?!

I’m 17 years old. I know something is really wrong with me. In the past I used to stay with myself and keep being there for myself. I dropped the thought of being HSP. I did some dumb stuff, like being out there and not focusing on myself. I fell down after 4 months in my porn addiction for one day again, but that’s 2 weeks ago now and I’m going back. I can’t be there for myself, I’ve lost my confidence after all, I’m having anxieties again. I’m feeling bipolar. My gf today was feeling bad, but I couldn’t be there for her, I’m pushing her and everyone away, and even myself. I’m feeling anxious and really depressed as well. It’s weird because one month ago I was over the top with all confidence and everything. Now it’s just away. I was only laughing at my gf’s face and she didn’t think I was taking it serious. It scared her away. I’m being dumb and feeling like I want to cut myself, but at the same time I want to be good. Nothing makes sense for me I am so stressed or something. I’m isolating myself. What is wrong with me?