Dear Gabe: We kid because we love.
Sincerely Reddit.
P.S. Seriously! Release the damn thing already.
Posted Mar 13, 2010, 6:09 PM UTC
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TYPE LOUDER HE CAN'T HEAR US OVER THE SOUND OF ALL HIS MONEY!
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have you seen his office? looks like my bedroom. he is a bona fide human being http://i.imgur.com/xQj1v.jpg
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That monitor is bigger than him.
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Thats impossible.
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I see the image and I think: Optimal viewing distance is 3 to 4 times the diagonal length of the monitor. He is way way way closer than that.
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Still not sold on using a tv as a computer monitor
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Feels good, man.
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They're literally the same thing these days. There's nothing to be "sold" about it.
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If I made as much money as Gabe I too would buy a monitor so goddamn big it needs handles.
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I bet that whole room smells like ass.
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Wtf is that a box that contains a Dust Collector?
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this is the actual product.
I have no idea what he would use it for, maybe gathering up the stray nanites they use to produce Valve games.
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Maybe he also woodworks? Here's mine.
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Well, you see, when your body has that much surface area, your skin tends to chafe, and of course that ends up as particles floating around in the air...
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Is he a mage?
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I'm amazed no one seems to have commented on what he's playing.
I seriously want to join his guild though.
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And it looks like he ships with UPS...
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Nice try, FedEx.
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WoW?
Oh, they weren't kidding.
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I bet that is just his gaming workstation, and he has another on the other side of the room for email/web/code/etc. That TV screen would probably be awful for text.
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Go fig he's in the middle of a corpse run.
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See, I love this. This guy is living the nerd dream. He is fat, unattractive, and lording over all who once mocked him, with millions in the bank.
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Gabe Newell is actually stupid rich. He worked at Microsoft when it was still small, and sold his stock when he left. When the HL2 source code was leaked, a friend of his was asked if it would affect the financial viability of the company. Turns out Gabe has enough money to pay everyone at Valve for 20 years (with cost of living increases) even if they never released anything.
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[citation needed] I don't see any numbers or speculation listed of his net worth.
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So... who wants to help me find some company-threatening secret about Valve so I can go to his office, demand that he hire me as a "freelance consultant" in exchange for my silence, then beat the piss out of myself in his office to seal the deal?
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... I would assume 20 years is lowballing it after the major success of Steam... and all the Source engine games....
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That's some kickass job security.
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Episode 3: Forever?!
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FIRST YOU GET THE SUGAR THEN YOU GET THE POWAH THEN YOU GET THA WOMEN
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Your spelling of power made me think of this....
HOVER BOARDS DON'T WORK ON WATAH....YOU GOTS TO HAVE POWAH!!!!!
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YOU BOJO!
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Do you like his hat?
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Gabe doesn't read reddit. Can we stop filling up the front page with this garbage?
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How do you know? What if he does? It'll only make EP3 come faster :)
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If Gabe Newell reads Reddit, we ain't never seeing ep3.
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This. Explains. Everything.
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Double Negative? So it is going to come out?! :D
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He probably does considering how integrated he in in various online communities.
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That would be a kickass IAmA. But I'd admittedly rather him spend the time he could be doing that toward making Ep3.
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I'm pretty sure a lot of important people read reddit, like the Google guys, and CNN, probably most media companies, Ubisoft people, et cetera.
I can't see any alternative sites Gabe would use.
I'd be surprised if he never went on 4chan before, even..
edit; what have I said that requires downvoting?
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Shudder the thought, but this made me think of a bunch of CNN hacks collecting redditors' comments for later stitching-together into a news story.
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They do. If I wasn't on my phone, I'd give links.
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Yeah, I figured it was true. I just hadn't read about it before, sadly.
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There needs to be a Steam/Valve Circlejerk subreddit.
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It can only be a plus for finishing Episode 3.
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Yes I do! ...er, he does.
1
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And we mean this without any malice. Valve makes awesome games, Gabe is a big part of why they make awesome games, and we'd like Gabe to stay around to keep making awesome games.
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A really big part.
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I get it!
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He is a massive part of their success!
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we'd like Gabe to stay around
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He is a multi-millionaire, I am sure he can afford a top of the line nutritionist, kinesiologist and personal trainer. Hell he should take 3-4 months holiday to get in shape. Working out 6-8hrs a day would be good for him.
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He could also afford liposuction, which doesn't even require effort. Though, to be fair, he used to be even bigger and has since lost a good deal of weight.
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I think a lot of reddit actually believes they are affecting the release date of HL:E3. You're not.
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Gabe, I personally do not care how long it takes to make Episode 3, so long as you make it awesome.
Sincerely, Sirberus.
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Gabe, I personally do not care how long it takes to make Episode 3, so long as you make it.
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Personally, I'd like to still be alive though...
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As long as I can teach future generations to keep up the cause, I'm fine with not being around myself.
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I'm 12 years younger than he is. I bet I can wait him out.
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Duke Nukem Forever?
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Oh. I get your username now.
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We do love you. Thank you for releasing Steam for Mac too.
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Now get on my Linux port.
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I really don't think that Gabe needs to be told any of the following:
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You're fat
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Release Episode 3
Can we put this to rest?
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I love you! But fuck your personal health. Work 24 hours a day so I can play your 6 hour game, masturbate and go to sleep.
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I am beginning to get tired of this Valve fan boy bull shit in r/gaming. "Where is HL: E3" is just spam at this point. People post it in any thread that is some what relevant to Half Life even if it has nothing to do with Episode 3. Now we have more posts about this Gabe person and Reddits obsession with his weight. Can you just make a /valve subreddit to post all this crap?
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This subreddit doesn't get so many submissions that it's drowning out something more relevant so you could do something constructive for yourself and...y'know...not click into these.
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It may not be drowning out r/gaming, but there are too many pointless Gabe Newell posts on the front page.
It's just annoying, I love Valve as much as the next guy but the last couple have just been stupid & pointless.
TF2 talk got so bad it needed it's own subreddit, maybe that applies to Valve too now.
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The down side to this though is that I don't care enough that I would bother to check a Valve only subreddit so I'd never see ANY of these posts, and, like I said, I don't think gaming gets so much traffic that it hurts.
I can see why you'd be annoyed but it annoys people the way it is currently, and it'll annoy different people if it were changed. Moot point in the end, really =P
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why don't you just make a r/notaboutgabegaming subbreddit?
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How about "Hey, Gabe, take all the time you need to make E3 as good as it can be, instead of a shitty incomplete rush job that doesn't work without patches and DLC like most other games?"
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I doubt Valve need us to point this out. They've done a fine job so far.
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That's not the point. The content was made episodic so that gamers would not have to wait like they did for HL2 - the amount of time between release dates would be shortened. It has been short and sweet, but the release dates have not been.
HL2 Ep 1 was released 4 years ago. We should've had Episode 3 early last year. Instead we are still waiting on it without even a tentative release date.
The entire episode series is actually Half-Life 3, I believe.
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We love Gabe like a fat kid loves cake!
>_>
That's another month.
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Wow, this is really getting old. How about no more Gabe Newell posts for a little while, at least until there is actually news about him doing something?
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Your love is superficial and cruel
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That's one big apology.
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releaseMonth++;
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Is kind of sad, if you think about it, that a community site with a high percentage of overweight users is making fun of an overweight developer that founded one of the few game companies that listen to the community.
I guess is the price of being famous.
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gamers tend to be skinny
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Source
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There are twelve/thirteen hardcore gamers in my year at school. Only one is in any way overweight. I live in tropical Australia though so weh.
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common knowledge
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That and old wives' tales will form the research for my next scientific paper.
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Citation Needed.
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I wish he would take better care of himself, we don't want to loose him. Gabe is much to valuable to the gaming world.
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"loose him"? Gabe's not an animal. Though he's probably eaten more than his share of them.
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Who's Gabe?
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this comment is relevant to my interests.
edit : here we go
found because someone on reddit decided it would be a good use of their time to register the name gabeNewellsMom. I... I guess it was?
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Reddit, how about you just not make fun of such an all-round great guy like pre-school kids and grow the fuck up?
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you got the round part right for sure
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Dear Gabe: We kid because we find comics that are 5 year old dead 4chan memes and reddit embraces them.
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Gabe, we love you, and we love the games you make. For the sake of all of us - your family, your fans, and yourself, lose some weight. We all want you around for a good long time. You bring so much joy to so many people - don't deprive the world of your gifts before you have to, please.
its just puppy fat! I think it makes him look quite handsome and jovial.
I will give you 100 Internets if you ever use this novelty account again.
IN CONTEXT
meh
HELOOOOOOOOOOO!~
Compulsory from Seinfeld
I know you are being genuine and mean well, but Gabe's weight is none of our business.
Like any 'celebrity', we need to give them their privacy.
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Here is a pic of him
Oh dear god...
Those girls must really love mo... I mean video games.
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Look, we are not saying he should work out to get on the cover of GQ in a suit so tight it couldn't fit a coat hanger, we are just saying, that he should get his BMI in the mid 20s, it would truly be a shame to lose someone who is so good at making games and advocates less intrusive DRM solutions.
You realize that by saying that, you've jinxed us. Gabe will be dead within a week, Ubisoft will win some major court case setting law precedent in favor of whack-job DRM forever, and Activision will merge with Gamestop.
I actually don't mind GameStop! as a 360 gamer with low income it allows me to make smarter game purchases.
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I don't care, it's easy, and it rarely fails.
Notice he used the words 'less intrusive', not 'non'. And I agree. I love steam.
He is morbidly obese. See it as redditors trying to get him to change his way so he doesn't die of a heart attack before his game producing potential has been thoroughly exhausted. As he said, it's just love.
It sounds more like greed to me.
Now there's a sentiment I can get behind!
What's the difference?
Sounds like you need more hugs and less prostitutes.
Don't let them fool you.
If redditors had the option every one of them would have his baby in order to play half life 3 a day before anyone else.
What? You can't tell someone they need to lose weight?
Well, even if it is true, it's generally considered to be on the less-than-polite side of the conversation spectrum.
If he smoked instead -- two packs a day -- and the top comment urged him to quit, would anyone even blink at that sentiment? Why is this different?
If you don't know them, and they don't know you, no, you can't.
Well, you can, but it would be far more pleasant for all involved if you just fucked off.
Celebrity: n, someone who has given up their privacy in exchange for the benefits that notoriety brings.
He makes fun of his own weight. Check out his twitter
Why are all the stupid puns about Newell's weight more upvoted than this? I never much cared for all the jokes being made at the dude's expense...I mean, he's got the business savvy to make lots of money, the eye for talent to bring in people who make awesome games and on top of that, created an online store that generally provides a great customer experience. Yet he's the most picked on game company CEO here because he's fat.
Why not spend more time picking on the CEOs who show utter disdain for not only their employees who create games, but the people who shell out money so they can buy more sports cars?
That said, a plea to Mr. Newell to take care of himself so he can keep doing the things that make him awesome I can agree with.
Sort by best.
It fixes reddit.
Sort by best should be renamed "pun thread on top" it certainly does not fix reddit.
Sort by best maybe sometimes puts puns at the top, but they don;t stay there indefinitely just because they're at the top, which is what I meant by fixing reddit.
In my mind, he's the most picked on game company CEO because he's the only game company CEO that I know of, or would recognize, or would be likely to care about should said recognition occur.
This guy says it all!
I still get nostalgia thinking about playing HL1 over and over again because of how groundbreaking it was. I had never felt such a cinematic experience from a game!
Even modern games can't touch the sense of cohesion, of a real world, that HL1 provided. These nostalgia glasses are never coming off :D
damn you, I just had a nightmare that Gabe will pull a Douglas Adams on us.
sniff Now I have a sad :(
Here, you can have one of my happies :)
Yay!
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He needs to take some lessons from Peter Jackson
http://aindreas.com/wp-content/uploads/PETER-JACKSON-BEFORE-AND-AFTER-AINDREAS-DOT-COM.png
Indeed, we don't want this to happen (it also looks like an extremely inefficient coding technique).
If only there was an actual cure that didn't include taking time away from game design or make his life more miserable in any way. Diet and exercise really suck to have to do for an entire lifetime just to barely (miss a few months for any reason and the weight rushes right back in) stave off obesity. We seriously need a better and, dare I say it, easier solution. Yeah, many morbidly obese people can be skinnier (not necessarily as skinny as those born with different genes, but skinnier all the same), but holy fucking hell does it suck for them compared to people that are naturally skinny.
You dun even have to stop eating. GASTRIC BYPASS: LOOK IT UP.
Fitness is more than just about your calorie intake. Physical activity has many benefits besides just weight loss.
Given the choice between him running a mile a day but maintaining his current weight, or him magically losing the weight and a continued sedentary lifestyle, I think most physicians would probably recommend he lose the morbid obesity first don't you?
I second this, I really, really, want Gabe to be around 30 years from now, he has the most level head in gaming production, and as such brings us the very best in gaming. The entire industry is so much better with him in it. He won't last long if he doesn't lose some weight, and it sucks. We love, love, love what you do Gabe, please, take care and use the awesome dollars that you have at your disposal and get healthy.
I'll say it now, I'm willing to donate 5 dollars for every game Valve releases for the next 10 years to any charity Gabe chooses if he can lose 100 lbs. I know that sounds small, but I want to get thousands of his fans behind this, I want to turn it into something big. I want thousands of his fans pledging 5 bucks per game, to both do good to a charity, and do good by Gabe. Ideas on how we can make this go viral, redditors?
Gabe, we love you, and the games you make. For the sake of all of us, remember we're just a website full of condescending underachievers whose individual lifetime net worth is less than your monthly income. I'm sure you won't have too much trouble not taking us seriously, what with all the rolling in dough.
Love - reddit.
A thousand times this. The internet needs to hold an intervention.
Yes, I'm sad to say it, but Gabe... you should seriously consider getting Wii Fit.
Dude is fucking HUGE!
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