And if one day

Wow, I love this. It evokes the kind of old fashioned, romantic poetry that I so enjoyed learning about in school. I am a sucker for nature poetry so I loved the nature imagery you used. This poem is so romantic in every sense of the word. The idea of really digging in and trying to rescue a wavering love really resonates with me. Although the lines are short and separate, the whole stanza seems to flow nicely, and is not choppy.

I really like how, when you're talking about moving on, you invoke imagery of water and rivers, and on the other hand talk about trees taking root when you talk about them coming back to you. Really makes it hit home.

The line "The latent waters of desire will not ripple with the stone of my memory" maybe could have a line break at "ripple," to make it gel with the rest of the poem a bit more, and put more emphasis on the word, and sort of separate the two ideas of how the other person's lack of caring and what you meant to them. So that both ideas can be emphasized more and still work together.

Super poem. the way you convey human experience with words like meandering and prism of the morning is very powerful and represent distraction away from a loved one. I find myself empathising with the target of the poem, as my memory of a loved one fades. grips and grounded accurately express to firmness of feminine love. And the truth of the final line ties the poem together nicely.

Not a lot left to say here. I'm definitely in the same boat as the others in support of this piece, it really is something special. At one point towards the middle you began to lose me, but the vividness of your imagery pulled me back in.

The blending of romance and nature is hard to do well these days without seeming cliche but you nailed it. Great job!

Everyone has already dissected the imagery and whatnot, which I agree was good, so I won't delve into that. What I actually found most compelling was the tone and intentions of the narrator. As I read the poem I found it to be a sort of sweet and refreshing change tact. Instead of pining for a lost love, the narrator simply wished them the kindest mercy after a painful breakup, the ability to move on with certainty.

However, the narrator's intent then seems to suddenly shift with "the vines of uncertainty", where they suddenly lurch into a more depressing suite of images and wish for their ex to once again crave them in the hopes that a second chance can be taken. With the whole circle of life and decay metaphor at face value this could still be construed as a kind or well-intentioned desire, albeit a comparatively selfish one considering the sentiments of the first half.

It is the final line that is really the giveaway though, the possessive vindictiveness that emerges through "You will not forget". It drops all poetic and image pretense and cuts directly to the former lover, almost as a warning or a threat that they will never get over them.

I may have completely misinterpreted all of that and you didn't mean any of it, but if you did, bravo! Once I realised it the poem reads completely differently.

You did so well with the imagery... I really appreciate the lines " On the cobalt palette of sky- " and " In the prism of morning. " I thought prism was a really clever word to describe morning. This poem is fascinating, thank you for sharing it here.

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I love the way it begins. Sort of took me way back in time. Thanks for sharing!

Omg, I am taken aback by your work. I looked at it after you commented on mine and you are so much more well versed than I. "The prism of morning" is breathtaking. I am too afraid to create longer lines, but as I kind of have the same structure, you do it better than I do :)