Maybe I'm not better after all...

My last extreme depressive episode was two years ago. It was truly awful, but it eventually let up and I was so relieved to be better. Meds were working and it seemed like I was on the right track.

But I was thinking about it last night, and I haven't really been the same since then. I feel like a worthless failure. Some days I don't have the energy to leave the house. I'm very irritable--anything will set me off. Libido shot. It's slowly killing my relationship.

I definitely got better after my last episode, but now I'm wondering if I actually got better better. It occurred to me that maybe I've lost all sense of what "normal" feels like. Less depressed is better than more depressed, but it makes me sick to think about how I've lost to feeling like shit without even knowing it.