Does anyone else feel like they're stuck in an endless loop?

I used to have frequent episodes for three years until 2017. Did meds for nearly 2 years, again until 2017. Most of the time, I feel like I've recovered - more or less.

But there are some triggers that send me tangential and into fits of anger, make me likely to indulge in risky behaviour or just meaningless hysteria.

Is there no end to this? I gave myself quite a big buffer after my meds ended, but I feel like I keep getting hauled back to square one after weeks or months of good progress and stability.