They postponed - should I text again?
I'm 29f, dating on Tinder, looking for something serious in the long-run, but I don't pin hopes on everyone and anyone. I've been on a few fun dates, nothing super amazing, but nothing terrible either.
I've been straight up with saying no to more dates if I don't feel the chemistry with a person, and am also not afraid to suggest another one if I feel we clicked enough for a 2nd date.
I'm not the most confident at all when it comes to dating, but I really believe in being as straight forward as possible, and being upfront with how you're feeling or what you want. I've been really hurt in the past, have spend a lot of time on my own, and I don't want to waste my time, or anyone else's time stringing them along! I expect the same back, but it doesn't always work like that.
There was a guy I was chatting with a few weeks ago, and our texting game was fire, it was so much fun! I was excited to meet in person, so we scheduled a date, and a few days before, he texted to say he had to attend a conference in another city and wanted to postpone. I said sure thing, no problem... and haven't heard anything since. This was about four weeks ago.
I don't want to seem weird or pushy by being the one to follow up... but I'm feeling like I would be by texting first to ask him out again. Ugh, I dunno why I'm overthinking this so much, but I feel slightly hesitant to be the one to text first for some reason! I also feel like we'd get on well in real life - even if it ended up just being friends or a good night.
What would you do in this situation?
Posted May 10, 2019, 2:59 PM UTC
I don't wait longer than 12 days for a reply. I know two instances where I waited longer than that, i waited 6 weeks for a reply and when she finally replied, she said I wasnt her type. another took 13 days to reply after I.asked her number, she gave it to me and we arranged a date and she cancelled the date at the last hour and make some lame excuse. so I deleted her.
in my experience it is ALWAYS a red flag if they don't reply within good time, it means theyre not genuinely interested. I'll say 12 days is the longest you should wait for a reply, if nothing, unnmatching them and forgetting they existed is better than sitting there in pain wondering if they'll ever reply.
Yeah, true. I guess it comes back to how it generally goes - if they're into you, they'll get in contact, and if not, they're just not into you.
I agree. That has been my experience as well. If I don't reply in good time to a girl it's because I am not into her. And the other way around if I don't get a reply in good time.
I was recently mailing with a woman who does the same job as me in another office. (We had met a few times during conferences.) I had to wait 2 weeks for a reply to my last mail. True, she was on holiday for maybe a week but still, I consider it a sign of disinterest.
Sometimes you have to cut your losses early and not pine away for someone.