My boyfriend (42m) and I (30F) just broke up over me going to Target...am I in the wrong?
So some background he and I have been seeing each other for about a year now ( I've been flying back and forth to him) and I just moved from Texas to LA in part to be closer to him. I've been here for one day and this happened. Prior to this he had been really pushing for me to move in with him and was upset when I said I wanted to make sure we were actually compatible first. We I love you to each other and the night before all of this he was telling me how happy he was that I was here, talking about how my place is really nice and maybe he could just move in with me if I still wanted that, and planning our vacations for the next year.
I had stayed with him overnight and the plan was he wanted to change brake pads on his car, then we would stop by his friend's party that started at 3 p.m. and then maybe go see a movie. Also he usually doesn't wake up until 11.
Essentially he was asleep and I had some errands to run at Target this morning . As I was leaving (830 AM) he woke up, I told him where I was going and then was gone for 3 hours getting clothes and shoes for work stuff on Monday. I assumed he would just text me when he woke up. As I was driving back (1205 pm) he texted me that I obviously had other plans and he was going to get on with his day and then wouldn't answer texts or pick up the phone. Since I was 5 minutes from his house I just went back there. He flipped out as soon as I walked in and was screaming at me. He kept saying how dare I fucking leave without a note, and when I pointed out that he woke up and I told him he said he caught me creeping out the door that's the only reason I told him. (Not true) He was screaming saying I was fucking liar, what the fuck is wrong with me, that we had plans and I just bailed on them and didn't tell him and basically not letting me speak. he kept saying how can I think it's okay to be gone for 3 hours, and going to Target only takes one. I tried to say I thought he was sleeping and he started yelling that he was awake the entire time and I didn't fucking think and wouldn't respond when I asked why he didn't call me. Then he started saying you aren't even apologizing we're done bye, get out we're done.
I tried to ask him if I could just have five minutes to talk and then he was sitting in the corner screaming, "why the fuck is this chick still in my house, why the fuck is this girl still in my house" and I honestly didn't even feel safe and realized there was no talking to him so I left. I sent him a message basically apologizing and saying I thought when he woke up he would text me and I was just trying to get boring chores out of the way so we could spend the day together and his response was, "bye Felicia I know you're a liar and untrustworthy." He immediately blocked me on Instagram, and I haven't tried to contact him since.
I guess I just want to know if what I did was really that bad? To me it seems completely innocuous and I would think that a normal person would just call me and say hey I'm awake can you come back? Am I crazy?
***Update I appreciate y'all for validating that I'm not crazy and going and running errands for a couple of hours is not a reasonable thing to start a giant fight over.
I definitely recognize that his behavior is batshit, and have blocked all forms of contact with him and have absolutely no plans to ever speak with him again. I've had issues in the past where I feel like I can fix people, or because I understand why they're damaged I should put up with their shitty behavior. Thankfully I've grown up a bit at 30 (finally) and realize this is not sustainable, especially with a 42 year old man who's acting this way.
It's hard moving to a brand new city and on Day 2 having a big part of your support network leave in such a dramatic fashion. I posted this a few hours after it happened, so this really helped distract me on my first night alone here and made me feel way better so thank you.
Posted May 12, 2019, 1:29 AM UTC · edited