To the girl who changed my life forever

I will never forget you. I remember clear as day when I walked into my friends house after work and you were on the couch hanging out. I was immediately blown away by your energy, your presence, the way you carried yourself and so much more. I remember us going outside and you driving my modded car. I was skeptical on your claims that you could drive a manual. My immaturity back then said that that was a valid way of measuring a girls worthiness, but i was a different time. You hopped right in and drove it like you knew exactly what you were doing. Better than me, at that. I was hooked on you from day 1. I had to muster up the courage hidden underneath a mountain of depression, and ask for your number. I somehow knew you were different. I couldn’t see you for just sexual pleasure. There was something about you that drew me in on a deeper level. You must’ve saw something in me as well. I don’t know how we started, but all I know is that it didn’t end for what felt like forever. Countless nights of talking about any and everything and I had butterflies every single time we met up. They never went away. It became addicting to me to find out more about you. I needed to know you on a deeper level. I needed to find out what made you tick, what made you happy, what gave you fulfillment in life, what you’ve been through. My hunger for it all never subsided and slowly you and I got close enough to dive into each other’s deepest thoughts. It felt like a dream.

As Time went on, my feelings got deeper and I told you I loved you out of a mix of emotional distress and an inebriated night of fun.

That’s when it all stopped. You didn’t feel the same way and couldn’t love someone who didn’t have their life together. You’re into relationships for the long haul, and I get that.

It may not have worked out, but I still remember what you said to me and I’ll always keep it as a reminder of how beautiful of a person you were to me. I’ve never had a woman be so kind hearted and 100% understanding of what I’ve been through in my life, and saw me for my potential and not just who I was in the moment.

We may never reconnect. Maybe we will. I still miss you tremendously. It’s been two years, and I still use your words as motivation to keep pushing forward in life. We’re very different and you knew that as well as I did. It wasn’t the right time for me to tell you I loved you, and I’m sorry for it. I was stupid, young, and dumb but I’ve learned a lot from that moment. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a man and hope one day you give me a chance again. I’d love to have you back in my life even for a little just to catch back up and be friends again. I’m blessed to have met you. You were the light in the darkest times of my life, and I’ll never forget you. Hope to catch back up with you in the future Squid. Maybe one day we can be right for each other but life goes on and it may never happen. How bittersweet life has to be to the ones who don’t want it to be.