AIAA for being annoyed my dad gave $11,000 to charity last year but none to me or my kids?

I assumed he was on a tight, pension budget. I paid half when we went for lunch at McDonald’s. I am a teacher, make much more than my husband, two kids. He complained he doesn’t want to give me presents anymore. He did little to betray this impression— very basic gifts for grandkids, complaining about being out of money at the end of the month.

Then we’re watching PBS and he said, “Thanks to viewers like me, that is!” Goes on to say he gives to them, and a few thousand to the church and a few thousand to our university— total $11,000 last year!

It’s his money and I never thought of it as mine, even though I’m an only child. But damn— $11,000! I think of all the things I didn’t get to do because of money, all the guilt trips he put me through over my skating lessons as a kid, of him not taking my beloved cat to the vet as a teen because it cost money. About how we both had to take care of mom because there was no money to hire help with— how guilty I felt for going out for years!

Even after he told me, he still wants to act poor. He made me ask and then remind him that my in-laws paid for the education saving plan for kid #1 maybe he could help with kid #2s? He finally put in a token amount less than, 1/10th what my in-laws did. I still pay half when we go to McDonald’s. He said he’d pay for a trip for my kid as a Christmas present but only gave $200 and I paid the rest (over $1000) but told her it was from him.

Am I an asshole for feeling annoyed?