How to (27f) stop being abusive to husband (28m).

I know I'm depressed. I know I'm overworked and overstressed. I know if had time to work out or just get enough sleep I'd be a lot better. I have an appointment with a therapist at soonest available which is in 3 weeks. (And the only one I can go to due to my insurance)

My husband is amazing. He truly loves me and does all he can for me. I'm falling into a cycle....

1. Come home from work.

2. Notice something annoying.

3. Pick a fight.

4. Twist the fight so it's his fault now.

5. Apologize.

6. Sex so he'll still like me or something.

I see the cycle and I'm aware of it and I'm so guilty and stressed about it that It almost ads to the stress that leads to it in the first place. And if he does anything less than perfect somehow my brain turns that into an excuse that today it IS okay to pick a fight. Idk maybe he said hed mow but he didnt.

Fuck. I hate myself. I suck so much.

Help?