19 [M4R] *Slaps the roof of self* - This bad boi can fit so many SPiCy MemES!

ThE sUN iS a DeAdLy LAzeR

At least, that is what I clearly believe, as I have not seen it in YEARS (exaggeration!). Are you unable to fall asleep at night because your life does not have enough DUMB MEMES?

If so, you may just be in luck - my entire life is a meme! :D However..

If you are someone who is not going to bother reading the following wall, I encourage you to click the lil' X on top of this tab now. Thank you! :)

Fair warning, am about to pass out - and will reply to potential messages tomorrow.

In any case, here is some basic info (AKA full autobiography) about me:

• A nineteen year old dude of Russian origin residing in Canada - I speak both English and Russian.

• Going to College for a Law Enforcement program with plans to go to Uni for Criminology after I graduate. In the process of joining CAF’s reserves as, planning on Military Police role.

• Despite the number of stereotypes associated with the aforementioned careers, I have a firm left lean when it comes to politics. At least, in regards to most topics.

• I have a certain amount of anxiety and depression, although it had not surfaced for quite a while now; enough so that the worst issue I have to deal with on the day to day basis is... crippling boredom.

• INTP/“Logician” personality on Myers-Briggs test. I also like to know things. As such, expect a barrage of “why” and “how” and so on. I love it when other people ask questions, too.

• Atheist. My ‘religion’ is very important to me :^) While I dabble in Nordic paganism and the like, it is for shits and giggles.

• Chronically single, not that it is pertinent (After all, this is not r/r4r, unless it is - but no - I do not want your wiener and / or boob pictures, unless it is a wiener dog or you've a pair cuter than these ones).

• I do not smoke, am a social drinker and I do not do pot - in fact, I am rather stigmatized against the latter by some life experiences and my chosen career. I am also yet to meet a pot smoker who was not, in fact, a stereotype. Kind of weird. Maybe the non-stereotypes.. I dunno, don’t come covered in half a dozen different pieces of cannabis-themed merchandise and act like complete selfish assholes? Who’d have guessed. Despite that, I am in favour of marijuana's legalization so who knows ¯_(ツ)_/¯

More detailed / ‘interesting’ / specific info about yours truly:

• I am a massive nerd. Video games are probably the love of my life, with about a dozen games on my favourite list, including but not limited to - Dark Souls series, NieR: Automata, WoW, Bioshock series, Prey, Metal Gear Solid, the >Observer_, Mass Effect and Sunless Sea. Honestly, for whatever reason, I never really had any friends who played any of the same games as I. As such, the odds are I would love to play something, even if it means I have to buy a new game - after all, gaming is a grand experience to bond over! (I have PC & PS4)

Playing Space Station 13 right now.. Mainly as a cyborg. Last round, we were holding a birthday party for Ian, the Head of Personnel’s dog. A syndicate agent hacked the AI and changed it’s laws - stating that one’s birthday is best celebrated with gruesome death and that today is everyone’s birthday.

Oh dear.

I did a sneaky and re-wired solar pannels, so that they dump their entire power into the station’s net as compared to a battery.. meaning that electric shocks were deadly now. And look at that, someone electrified all the doors..! Me and other cyborgs also helped people celebrate birthdays in an old-fashioned sense (bludgeoning to death with a crowbar), before the AI triggered a doomsday program that wiped all the organics.

What great, wholesome fun.

Would love someone to play this game with! If you are not convinced, here is a [showcase](

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=URJ_qSXruW0) of this amazing game.

• I love shows like the Simpsons, Futurama, early South Park and most recently - Disenchanted. Massive sucker for anything Studio Ghibli. Favourite series of all time would be the “Wire” (come on. I want to be a cop, what else did you expect?), and I really want to watch Hannibal and Breaking Bad at some point. Watching 'Lewis', a (yet another) British detective show. Also just re-started Futurama after finishing season 7. Woo.

• Super into D&D-esque roleplaying games - although have not been playing anything that I’ve enjoyed for a long while now.

• I love reading, although I do not have much time for it recently - two favourite books would be 1Q84 and the Roadside Picnic.

• Creepy shit. If you dig Lovecraft and SCP Foundation, I am your boi. I am not a fan of most horror movies and video games, as I loathe cheap jumpscares they are so enamoured with. Psychological / surreal shit is the best.

• My sense of humour is possibly the worst, and I take pride in having offensive memes for every occasion ready. Needless to say, I just love offensive / politically incorrect / plain juvenile stuff.

• My main hobby right now is Airsoft. I spent -way- too much money on getting my kit together since I ordered most of my gear from companies in Russia, not wanting to settle for cheaper substitutes. At least the quality is as good as it gets!
  The centrepiece of my collection is my plate carrier which came with full kevlar inserts and is of the model that is only issued to specific units of Russia's FSB. Pew pew pictures are available on request!

• I listen to music pretty much 24/7. I suck at categorizing music that I like, and listen to most genres, so it is simpler to say what I don’t like - which basically boils down to anything mainstream culture, like rap and pop (the only two exceptions to the former being Gorillaz and Die Antwoord). Seriously though, I am big on modern and older metal, rock, punk, indie-esque stuff, EDM and so on.

I would love me some new music, so feel free to send some my way for a trade!

Some of my favourite bands are Pink Floyd, King Crimson, Muse, Green Day, Rammstein, Marilyn Manson, NIN and many, many more - if it is not obvious by this point, I am so edgy that I (used to) cut myself :D

• Honestly, I just love learning stuff, from history to (most recently) philosophy and sociology, since these fields are quite pertinent to more than a few classes I am taking.

• I also like doggos and sneks. Bork. Pls send pupper / danger noodle pics.

• If I was to go to Hogwarts, I'd be a Slytherin 200%, due to a certain affinity for slithering neck-ties and positive human qualities like ambition, narcissism and general douchebaggery. But hey, at least I am honest (?) :D

I hate to say this, but I feel the need to: if you do not put little to no effort into your message, I will not bother replying. Stuf like lack o punctuatuion impropar gramar to short n generic. I am not asking you to write a wall like I just did, but please tell me -something- about yourself or -something- that catches my attention. And no, “hey, do you wanna chat?” does not cut it. Life’s too short, and I am already sick of bullshit.

Again, rephrasing the last part for dozens of people who simply don't get it: you now know a certain amount about myself. After reading your message, I should be able to know a certain amount about you - not asking for something as in depth as here, but the "Hello my name is X I am from Y and I like Z" is not good enough.

Also, here are some pictures of me, because why not?

Please, PMs only! I loath Reddit Chat UI. I would prefer to talk here for the first while as compared to going over to certain apps whose names trigger bots.. The odds are, if you ignore this, I will either not see your Chat or don’t reply on principle :3 ... If you did not understand it, I am on the picky side.

Feel free to hit me with your favourite ice breaker / shower question! (As long as it is not a Trotsky ice pick).