Dear here, unsent letters...

Thank you for being my refuge.
Thank you for being a place I could put my feelings. Thank you for being a place that I could store all my issues until the time I could go back and look at them again.

Hopefully this is the last realization I’m going to have -that the energy I put into something isn’t ever lost but it gets transmuted maybe in a negative way -that all my thoughts, on my issues, on my conflicts, can turn into depression and frustration.

I think it’s time I close shop and that I stop putting the energy and stop praying about that which I can’t change. I have to stop mourning what is already happened and why it did and just accept it is dead.

I think part of that is leaving this place -not coming here looking for a response much less for someone who possibly could be reaching out to me. There was a point when that was very possible and perhaps in someway still is - but for what purpose now?It is not gonna change and there’s no words that could be said, expressed or written that can erase what already happened.

To me this is a cemetery. A place where my sadness, hopes and expressed feelings for things that are impossible are placed. We all visit it anonymously. Our user names are like tombstones of surnames that mean nothing to us. There may be many people visiting it at the same time but we rarely look at each other - we just collaterally do our grieving simultaneously

Unsent Letters, please be kind to the others that visit here -be gentle - what brought us here are just folks trying to figure out who we are and why we do the things we do and the same things about the others we encounter

Please always be an open space for those people until they’re ready like me to drive out the gate and not look back