I suck at all this 'talking' crap

Online? You bet. Over the phone? I gotchu. In person? Nah I'm good.

I legit suck at talking to people. I can't talk to girls, I can't make friends, and the ones I do I can't keep. I feel like I'm destined to live alone as a hermit in the forest; which wouldn't be bad except that I want interwebs to talk to people! This is a dilemma. What do?