To the guy that tells me he loves me but never sees me

I’m so very confused with you.

You’re an enigma wrapped in a riddle, and I can’t figure you out. You work so much to get stuff done, and have no time to hang out. I keep asking to see you and you always say “soon”, and when I ask “some day?” you say “yes”. I asked you to tell me straight out of you don’t actually want to see me, and that we didn’t have to see each other if you didn’t ever want to. I was ready to end it, expecting the worst, but you said you wanted to. When is that day, and do you actually want to see me? Lately it feels like a “no” and it definitely feels like you’re losing interest.

We talk about looking at the stars, hiking, we talk about love and sex and our days. You tell me your crave me and that you love me. You sometimes even say it first. You’ve been saying it more lately but it doesn’t feel like it means anything to you. You’ve shared some intimate details and stories with me. You say you want me, but I feel like I am just a commodity to you.

We used to talk everyday, all the time, even while you were at work. You told me you just wanted me to be happy. You always ask me to love you, that you miss me, that you want to kiss me and all of this stuff and it’s been more recent. You used to get all flustered and gushy, and I felt and still feel the same. Now I’m feeling lucky to even talk to you at night.

I don’t know if I’m being messed with, but this entire situation is throwing me back into the one that went absolutely wrong. I don’t know what to do or think. I don’t know if I should wait around to see you and actually experience this love we share. I don’t even know how to tell you about the very letter I am writing to you now. How does one even word this for conversation? I just don’t feel as loved as I used to be.

I’m so confused, so anxious, and so worried that I’m going to lose you.