This is why I ghosted you. Though, I doubt you've even noticed.

To my love D, Do you remember when we met? It was almost seven years ago. I was on a date with a most unimpressive man. You were in my town on tour with your band. I just wanted to go home, but instead I ended up on your tour bus. We talked, and you asked for my number.

After months of texting, you flew halfway across the country to see me again. In that two weeks, you swept me off my feet. My 22 year old self fell in love with you. We bonded in a way that we both knew was unique. We knew that we needed to stay in each other's lives. But you lived in the Midwest, I lived on the East coast. It couldn't work.

But, we stayed in touch. Hooking up when you were touring through my area and the occasional texting kept me satiated. It also kept me from pursing real relationships. Oh sure, I dated. But, I never dated anyone I saw as a long term option. I was in love and knew someday we would be together. I just needed to wait until you were ready.

I was devastated when I found out you had a girlfriend. My heart was so broken that I let an abusive man into my life. And for a year and a half my personality shriveled and was mutilated. For a year and a half we talked about how unhappy we were in our relationships that we weren't ready to leave.

Almost as if fate had planned it for us, we broke up with our SO's within 2 months of each other. I feel as if you helped give me the courage to leave him. You skyped with me the day it happened. After not seeing my face in over two years, you were happy to be there for me while I cried.

Once again you flew out to see me. I fell back in love with you, a stronger and more adult love. I wanted to give us a real try. But, work was getting chaotic for you. You didn't have time for a long distance relationship and we both needed time to heal from the heartache of our break ups.

A year goes by, we randomly text. Maybe we skyped once. But, we hardly kept in touch. Then, all of a sudden, you're ready for another visit. My turn to come to you. We plan something for a few months away, about a week after your birthday.

On your birthday weekend, tragedy strikes. You need me right away. I was on a plane that night. I spent your birthday weekend with you and your whole family (that I had met for the first time). Your mom fell in love with me and I adored your family. A week later I came out for the initial scheduled visit. I was in bliss. I thought this would finally put us on track for a real relationship. I told you that I loved you and that I wanted to move to your city in a year to give us a real try.

You said no. That you weren't in a position to be an attentive boyfriend and didn't know when you would be. I was crushed. And thus began the year and a half long process of trying to get you out of my life.

A few months after you rejected me, I sent you a video voicemail. I told you that you were turning me into a pathetic version of myself. That my life had been on hold for you and that I couldn't live that way anymore. "I'm done, it's over. Please, don't contact me again".

Nine months later you emailed me your tour schedule. In two days we were enjoying a sushi dinner, I watched you perform, we shared a bed, and I told you not to contact me.

Three months later, you need me again. My heart jumped into my throat. Every time I told you to leave me alone it broke my heart and you just wouldn't listen. I let you come to me again. It was the best visit we ever had. We hiked, dined, made love, slept in... my dream. On our way to the airport I told you once again that you needed to make decision. I can't live my life this way. You didn't appreciate the ultimatum and I could tell.

Six weeks later, when I figured you were done with me at last, you texted me. You wanted to give it a real try. You wanted to be in a long distance relationship with the idea that I would move to your city some day.

I already made plans to move to a new city (not any closer to you) and figured I would give it a try. Little did I know that this attempt would put the final nail in the coffin of this sham of a relationship.

You always prioritized work over me. Not once was I considered first. You only called once a week. You hardly answered my texts. It was a whole new level of heart break and rejection. We did this for ten weeks. You couldn't even make me feel loved on my birthday (Valentine's day, of all days).

I was supposed to stop to see you on my drive to my new city. You were on the way, a halfway point. A week before hand, I expressed to you that I wasn't happy. That we weren't talking enough and needed more. You said you were giving me all you had to offer. You didn't keep our weekly Skype date after that. I asked if I should still stop to see you on my way to my new city. You very plainly and simply responded "no".

So, I didn't. I saw signs for your city on the highway and I drove right by. It was a little sting in my chest each time.

A week after I arrived and settled in I texted you again. I said that I wasn't trying to break up with you, that I was just trying to communicate and express my needs.

Silence. No response.

Finally, weeks later, only three days ago, I blocked you on Facebook and Instagram. I blocked your number on my phone. I deleted the two photos we had taken together over the almost seven years of love and friendship.

I ghosted you, and I doubt you've noticed yet. You've been content almost completely ignoring me for most of our time together.

I'm almost 30 and hardly spent time on real relationships. You broke my heart so many times. The gravity of how you hurt me is something I don't think you can even comprehend.

But, I want to thank you. Thank you for this lesson. And thank you for finally hurting me so much that I was able to let you go.

Good bye.