Quit day 2

I can’t even imagine how many times I’ve thought about quitting in the last 10 years of habitually using cannabis.

It’s hard for me to believe this is a choice I’ve somewhat spontaneously decided to make. The turning point was truly confronting the truth that my working memory was shot. I’ve struggled with symptoms of anxiety and ADHD in my post college years in a way that’s affected my professional, social and day to day functioning. I owe it to myself to see how I feel when I’m not using.

I feel tremendously conflicted about this choice to quit. At this point i can’t deny the effect cannabis might be having on both my anxiety and memory. But at the same I love cannabis. Does this mean I can never use again? Am I really the addict I never thought I was? Is there a responsible way of using or is this only a privilege for those who are not addicts? I know these are anxieties that don’t help me focus on the goal of quitting and finding out the truth but I can’t help feeling like a bit of who I am just died.

Thanks for all the support on here it’s really inspiring to read your stories.