Memories

I was 19yo, working at a didactics games factory (tabletop games for kids that kinda stuff) from 8 to 5, the people were nice and they would joke and have fun all day, on thursday I would go to an art atelier and paint, the master was impressed, wanted me to exhibit ASAP so He got me working on some drawings and paintings... I was living the fucking dream.

But my Social Anxiety had to just ruin everything for me, extremely afraid of fuckihg up at work, too afraid to talk with co-workers or people at the atelier. Depressed and wishing for death everyday. One day I woke up with a rash all over my body and was too afraid to call in sick so I just decided to go, when I was one block away I just turned around I ran back home, had to call to say I quit

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

No job, meant no money to pay art classes, so no exhibition

It has been 7 from that, 7 years of inner chaos and misery, 7 fucking years with no progress in any aspect of my life... 7 years is a long time. Only now, just now I start to see a dim light at the end of the tunnel but even if I managed to climb out of this pit I've fallen I will never be able to set my life back on that track again, the perfect track, the track I really wanted to follow

Life, man. It sucks