How to stay sane in a relationship with a binary person

I have a masculinized brain with a feminine body. I really don’t know how to best put it and I can’t change. Hope I belong here. People scoff at me because of how I identify. I suppose I dress androgynously. I think that somehow, I was born this way. Born with a slightly different brain and personality. I’m struggling in my marriage to fit a “traditionally feminine” role, and my husband is becoming frustrated by me. These stereotypes are so harmful, but he comes from a different culture. He would like me to wear dresses, be soft spoken, and take more responsibility in the domestic aspects of the home. I just want to be able to continue wearing suits as I please, do only half of the cooking and cleaning, and make time for my hobbies, like programming. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy having boobs and occasionally wearing makeup. I can’t change the kinda boygirl that I am. He’s so male, though. He doesn’t understand what it means to be genderqueer. If I tried to fit in to a female mold, it would be exhausting. What can I do?