EMDR has me questioning what is trauma and what is intrinsic to me and it’s horrible.

For example, I was in an abusive relationship at 15 that involved a lot of sexual violence, I was also abused (not sexually) by my biofamily, first foster family, AND adoptive family’s. It’s really hard to separate who fucked up what part of my psyche.

I have a lot of problems with sex and relationships. I went in hoping to help, but then I think about how many times people (my age) tried to touch me or date me, as a kid, and how much I hated it. of course i hates it if I didn’t want it, but why DIDNT I want it? because they were men and I’m not gay? Well, I don’t even know anymore. If I’m being honest with myself maybe I’m bi and just scared of men because my only relationship with a man was forced. So i don’t know, and that’s just one example. there are so many things i’m terrified I can’t fix that are just, a part of me.