I hate my daughter's paternal grandmother

I'm a new mother of a beautiful 3 month old baby girl. I got pregnant very soon after meeting her father, so I didn't get a whole lot of time to get to know his family. I must first start out saying that her father's side of the family is incredibly kind. But as soon as I got pregnant I noticed how nosey and overly attached his MOTHER is.

Last July through August, my boyfriend told me his mom wanted to get to know me. I thought it was sweet, so I agreed to numerous get togethers. I'm very introverted and loner-ish, so I don't get all bubbly and into being in social situations, but even when I tried to step out of my comfort zone, this woman sort of refused to even start conversation with me or make me feel comfortable in her home. I'd just sit around the family not being talked to. When I would talk, I'd be responded to, but immediately all conversation would go back to things I wasn't in the loop about or about people and things I didn't know. And it's hard to converse or have an input on topics that the family knows about and not me.

So I stopped going to get togethers.

Since day one she was always super involved with her son's (my boyfriend's) life. This was okay at first but I noticed a few off-putting things along with other bumps in the road:

1. She texts him every day. If he doesn't respond immediately to a simple question she texts "ANSWER ME!" (SOOO OBNOXIOUS) He doesn't always answer because it annoys him, but still.

2. She goes along with him to doctors appointments (HES 29!!)

3. 3 months after giving birth, I bumped into her at a baby shower of one of my boyfriend's friends. It was a jack and Jill. When she saw me, in front of her friends, she said "My son didn't come?" I said no he is at home with the baby giving me a break. She said "Oh so THATS where he's been!" Like insinuating that he is at home with his newborn instead of with her? Pointing it out as if it's a bad thing? Give me a fucking break.

4. My boyfriend and I we'rent doing great back when I was pregnant. However I always let him come to my appointments so he knew what was going on baby-wise all the time, so he (AND HIS FAMILY) would be in the loop. His mother texted me on 2 separate occasions saying that she wanted to get to know me, but said verbatim "I wish you would allow us to be a part of this baby and you". I didn't want to be a part of their lives because of how awkward they make me feel when I'm around, and because I noticed how dysfunctional my boyfriend's at home family life was. I DIDNT WANT TO BE AROUND NEGATIVITY! I was emotional and very sad at this stage of my pregnancy so I needed to not be criticized at that time.

5. When I planned my baby shower, I had told her previously that me and her son may not be together at that time, but to go ahead and throw a baby shower anyway for his side of the family so everyone could celebrate, because she wanted to. I had no problem with it. I would have a small one with my family separately. When the invites went out months later, I had invited her and a guest, and instead of rsvp-ing, she called my mother and made remarks about how she couldn't possibly pick one person to bring and that she was sad that she couldn't have a baby shower for her side of the family. I was like WHAT?! I ended up screenshotting the message where I told her to go ahead and throw a baby shower and sent it to her. I was NOT going to let her try to manipulate things and put a weird wedge between me and my own mother because she wanted attention.

6. She's always buying me stuff. If my boyfriend stops home to say hello to her and his family, she always has gifts. Now normally I'd never complain about gifts! But she has just made so many "poor me" remarks that the gifts just feel like a bribe or a reason to like her. I don't need gifts to like someone, I just wanted her to gift me by not making antagonizing remarks all the time.

7. She refers to my daughter as "My baby". For example "I want to see my baby today". I know a LOT of mothers who HATE when other people refer to their new child as "my baby" and I understand why. It's not her baby.

8. She will ask late at night last second to see the baby the following day, so I always have to say no. I have told her many many times if she wants to see the baby to simply text me and ask to come over. She has never done it. I don't want the baby at her house because she drinks, she has a large spoiled doberman that I'm sure would hurt the baby over jealousy, and as far as I know she has no baby stuff over there what so ever. Also I just find her to be an idiot- she was a passive mother with her two sons which turned them into very dysfunctional adults and she lives in a bad neighborhood. And I KNOW she's going to pull the "you won't let me see the baby" even though she can literally see the baby any day she wants but refuses to come over. She can see her if it's on my terms.

All in all, after everything consistently building up I just fucking hate her. I hate her so much. Everything about her. I hate how she's in her 60s and tries to dress like she's 30 as if she couldn't look wrinkly enough, I hate how she's a hair dresser but has palm tree hair, I hate how she plays victim all the time, I hate how retarded she is when it comes to anything really, I HATE HER.

My boyfriend has no idea that I dislike her at all. But I'm at the breaking point where if she can't ask me one question without lacing it with something condescending or pathetic I'm going to explode at her. If it was my decision, we would move far away so she could just fuck off. I find pleasure now in telling her no and ignoring her texts (because she doesn't have a relationship with me where she can reply with "ANSWER ME😂") I LOVE LETTING HER DOWN AND I FEEL LIKE A PSYCHO FOR IT.

Now if I could I'd cut her out of the baby's life for my own sanity for a few years, but I know that is wrong. I want my baby to decide if she likes her or not, and if she does, then I can easily live with that. The woman isn't ALL bad qualities but that's how it feels to me.

I'd appreciate non abusive input.

What are some good ways to avoid her so she is forced to just talk with her son and not me?

What are some excuses I can give her to keep her away?

I know I sound like a complete bitch but this has been festering in me for so long.

Is it wrong to just see her on holidays? Because I feel like that's the only time I can stand being around that dumb bitch.