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r/DnDGreentext•
MalevolentDM

How to End Curse of Strahd: Chaotic Player edition

Long

> Be Me

> DMing Curse of Strahd

> * [Spoilers] *

​

> Party had a quest to protect an NPC from the vampire Strahd.

> they mostly succeeded, and brought her to this city where she will presumably be safe.

> Party then basically leaves her at an inn for a couple days while doing side quests:

> * collect some seeds for a druid

> * uncover character backstory elements.

> * discover a vast web of political alliances and power

> * set fire to vast web of political alliances.

> ... wait, what was that last one?

​

> Party was approached by several political figures, all seeking their help.

> Each promises rewards for assistance in overthrowing their political rival

> Party decides to "Fuck Everyone"

> Double crosses all the NPCs, and gets all of them killed.

> They then incite a violent revolution of the people, against the city nobility and oppressive city guard

> Revolution quickly gets out of hand

> * session notes -> Garbage can *

​

> Party has forgotten that the NPC girl they were protecting is a noble's daughter.

> party goes looking for the NPC girl, and she is in a carriage being driven by a young lord friend of theirs.

> This Lord was courting the NPC girl for a little bit, but party didn't think much of it.

> Party is glad she is safe with him, despite their negligence.

> Carriage with horses suddenly becomes nightmarish, and flies into the sky.

> the lord friend was actually The vampire Strahd the whole time

> Party: ...oh fuck

​

> Barbarian does some crazy rolls: sprinting, grabbing onto the cart's rear axle, and being carried into the air hanging off the back

> strahd is casting spells at Barb, while one of the party couterspells from the ground

> Barbarian shimmies along the side of the carriage, mid-air mind you, and rips the door off

​

> I am utterly delighted by this Death-Metal-Music-Video level of craziness.

> I ask the player what they do to try to save the NPC girl?

> Barb: " I grab her, and throw her out of the carriage"

> ...

> * blink blink *

​

> look at NPC character sheet

> 9 Hitpoints

​

> Me: "I'm sorry...You want to take the NPC... and throw her out of the carriage... which is currently 60 feet in the air over a cobblestone street? "

> "Is that correct?"

​

> Barb: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

​

> Me: .... okay... i guess...

> *Sound of rolling 6D6 bludgeoning damage*

> ...Thats a lot of 6's

> Cleric: "Dm, i'm gonna stand near where she'll land so i can heal her"

> oh... oh honey...

​

> "You watch, as the NPC Girl, the one who you swore to her brother to protect, falls from the carriage screaming. Cleric, you are standing right in front, and bare witness: as her body slams into the unforgiving cobblestone ground. There is a cascade of simultaneous cracking and squishing noises, as the force of impact breaks every bone in her body, spraying blood, viscera, and organs about the street and all over your person."

> Party: oh fuck

> Party: oh god...what have we done?!

​

> This may be a time to inform you, the audience, that this was no ordinary NPC girl.

> Strahd was in love with this NPC girl

> Because the NPC girl is the reincarnation of his former lover

> Who tragically died 700 years ago

> after falling from a great height...

​

> The party murdered a Vampire Lord's lover, in the exact way she was originally killed

> right in front of him.

> right after her managed to finally 'get' her.

> after becoming a vampire and waiting 700 years for her return.

> Party realizing they just triggered Strahd: OH FUCK FUCK OH FUCK OH GOD NO

​

> Queue TPK by the vampire

> who now needs to spend another 700 years waiting for his lover to return

​

> This is why I love my players:

> they fuck up so badly, that not only does it destroy themselves, the game world, and the entire campaign: But they also drag the BBEG down with them.

> Forcing strahd to suffer in his self-made prison, because of their stupidity

> best way to end Curse of Strahd 10/10

Posted Jun 18, 2019, 6:58 PM UTC

19320
skaven_lord•

I dont know where it would land on the scale but it's definitively an Henderson (between 1 and 2 I would guess)

40
MalevolentDMOP"Are you sure you want to do that?"•

According to this , I would put it at 1.75 Hendersons.

I'm not even mad though, it was so memorable.

30
NoraJolyne•

1.75 would mean the story is unsalvagable, I'd put it at a 1.5 myself

4
Solracziad•

Ok. This got me cackling on the shitter. Good job!

18
MalevolentDMOP"Are you sure you want to do that?"•

I have never received higher praise. thanks!

12
razazaz126•

I was also pooping while reading this. Congratulations.

7
the1ine•

I pooped right after reading it!

6
Crimson_Viper_N•

I can just imagine the entire party just looking at the girl after the fall and turning to Strahd with just a look of pure fucking disappointment XD

17
LadyDrakon•

-cackles-

I'm pretty sure when my party leaves Vallaki, it will be on fire. I need to set odds as to who actually will CAUSE it to be on fire. We're a dysfunctional mess of a party.

6
Random_Jojo•

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Especially when it involves 20/20 hindsight.

5
Serkisist•

My party had a "TPK" once. In our custom campaign, the DM introduced a potion that lets the drinker experience the future 24 hours ahead of when they drink it, and at an accelerated rate, for a perceived 24 hours. They still have the knowledge that it is the future, and they can remember what they see, but once they go back to the present, any actions they take in the remaining time might change the future. Also, if you die, you're immediately kicked back to the present.

Anyway, party was in a town called Lairelode (I think that's how it's spelled), basically a city of all religions. They know an evil cult is present, plotting something nasty. My character drinks an aforementioned potion, then takes future party to break into the biggest church where they expect the cult to be. One short and incredibly illegal adventure later, they find an altar hidden behind an illusory cliff, facing the sea. Guards are pursuing, and we're at a dead end. So one party member pipes up and says "imma cut my hand over the altar"

DM lets him, and wouldn't you know it, bleeding on the altar summons the BBEG, the continent devouring dragon Nidhogg.

We hightail it out of there, and are promptly chomped out of the cliff face and "TPK'd". The whole venture took maybe 30 real minutes.

Good times

5
TotesMessenger•

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1
DrMostlySane•

I don't know anything about the rules for DnD for the most part (haven't played nor touched it in years) but wouldn't the cleric be able to heal up the girl after she fell?

​

I mean if they're regularly doing stuff like pushing life juices into their companions as they're getting bisected by some unspeakable horror or bandit I would think a fall would be relatively tame in comparison, especially since there isn't anything around to stop or distract them (for the moment anyway).

1
coach_veratu•

The average roll of 6d6 is around 20. The npc had 9 hp and the poster said he rolled a lot of 6s. When you take enough damage to take you down to your negative max hp, so minus 9 for the npc, you die instantly.

Dm Must've rolled above an 18 for the fall damage and the Cleric mustn't of had a revivify or similar magic at hand.

6
funkybDM | DM | DM•

Per revivify's spell description (emphasis mine):

You touch a creature that has died within the last minute. That creature returns to life with 1 hit point. This spell can’t return to life a creature that has died of old age, nor can it restore any missing body parts.

And OP's description of the impact was

spraying blood, viscera, and organs about the street and all over your person

That part of the spell description is probably more for situations where you bring back someone with an arm chopped off or fail to reanimate a headless guy. I'm wondering how most would rule on internal organs. (As a note Raise Dead, which is 5th level, mentions organs but revivify does not) If it's my table I'd let them look around to scoop up all her important guts, they'd need at least a bit of each 😁.

3
MalevolentDMOP"Are you sure you want to do that?"•

The player

  1. didn't have the material component for revivify

  2. i ruled similar to your thoughts, that her body was so heavily mangled by the force of impact that it was beyond the scope of the spell.

I did allow the cleric to make a 'god call' check, where she rolled a percentile dice, and if she rolled under her character level (so like 7% chance here) she could attempt the spell without the material, and beyond the normal limits. Specifically because she was a grave cleric.

But, alas, she didn't roll well enough.

4
funkybDM | DM | DM•

But, hey, someone got to use percentile dice in D&D. I'm calling that a win.

5
coach_veratu•

That's why you just grab all the organs you can and cram them back into the torso and head. One minute is plenty of time for that.

Hopefully if you miss something, it's only a kidney or appendix.

2
funkybDM | DM | DM•

"The spell takes effect, but it's really disconcerting. Normally when casting this you watch wounds close themselves and the like. This time it's like watching 100 slugs animate inside her skin as the organs all quickly reconstruct themselves at their appropriate locations."

3
Baial•

If Tatyana/Ireena is allowed to leave a body when she dies, then Strahd can resurrect her. If Strahd can resurrect her, then he isn't being tortured.

2
MalevolentDMOP"Are you sure you want to do that?"•

If you take damage equal to your HP maximum in a single attack/effect, while you're at max HP, that also qualifies as instant death.

So in this case, exactly as you said, she also went below -9 HP. Meaning that she was Doubly Instantly Killed from the fall.

There is no healing back from that.

2