Source
r/BabyBumps•
irena92

I don’t know how to cope with my emotions!!

Sad

I’m always sad and upset. The pregnancy was not planned and I was definitely in a shock at first but I love my little man and I can’t wait to meet him.

My partner is great but we all have our flaws that makes us us.. so far he’s seen this whole pregnancy as “baby is coming so time to get all my drinking and smoking out.” I went from going out almost every weekend having wine on weekdays after work to unwind etc. to not drinking or smoking the moment I found I was pregnant. It was fine at first but it’s getting harder the closer I get to the end of my pregnancy and I feel like a horrible human being for it. Anyways, the last 2 weekends he decided to drink and party (we were out together) but I always imagined my partner being supportive and doing this with me but I feel like he’s making this SO much harder for me and I’ve become very unhappy. Am I just being a hormonal b*tch?

I really need another perspective. Thank you!!

Posted Jun 23, 2019, 3:28 AM UTC

26
merginimama3TM - EDD 2/2/20•

I don’t think you’re being a hormonal bitch at all. I would be just as upset that he isn’t being very supportive. I (kind of) understand the desire to let loose one last time but come on man it’s time to put your big boy pants on and get ready for this baby. Probably a dumb question but have you had a serious talk with him about this? I’ve noticed in my relationship that I have to be very straight forward and lay out my needs for my husband to get it. If I hint at things or beat around the bush it just does not work. Sorry you are going through this, I’m sure he’ll be a great dad he just needs a swift kick in the ass 😂❤️

4
irena92OP•

I had a pretty bad break down the night I posted this. It seems that he realized the effect he’s had on me and said would improve going forward. Hopefully me crying and hyperventilating was the swift kick in the ass he needed 😂 but I definitely don’t want to go through that again

2
merginimama3TM - EDD 2/2/20•

Thank goodness! So glad to hear this, I’ve been worrying for you ❤️😊

1
irena92OP•

Thank you for the support and letting me vent ❤️

2
TheGraby•

“baby is coming so time to get all my drinking and smoking out.”

IMHO that's a really bad attitude. Is he preparing for the baby and birth at all? Is he reading up on pregnancy? birth? early childcare? breastfeeding? fatherhood? Is he scouring the internet to figure out what stuff you'll need to purchase? sorting out your finances to make sure you can handle the expenses? prepping a space for the baby when he/she comes? going over your birth plan with you (and learning the terminology) so he can be your voice and advocate on the day, if you need him? helping and supporting you to eat well and get exercise? visiting daycare facilities or arranging for childcare?

If he wants to be involved in his child's life, the time is now. He should already be practicing the lifestyle he wants to lead when the baby is here. If I were I would suggest that to him. Drinking and partying is really not the behavior of a supportive partner.

2
irena92OP•

I will definitely bring these points up to him, thank you. He’s been involved in getting ready the space for the baby and making sure our finances are in order but other than that, hasn’t done much. I’m entering my 3rd trimester and I’m getting more and more anxiety as time goes. I broke down the night I posted this and told him he’s made this pregnancy 10 times harder for me than it needs to be. When I explained why, he felt terrible and said would start changing it moving forward. So let’s see what happens ..

1