Gyasi things
Posted Jul 5, 2019, 12:10 AM UTC
36922
Woah there buddy, are you trying to imply that Zardes isn't our best striking option available? Boy are you gonna be sorry when the ball hits him in the face and goes into the net to put us up 5-0 against French Guiana
51
French Guinea? Is that even a country?
- Said before the majority of every Concacaf match
14
Speaking of, I get that Trinidad and Curacao are included in Concacaf being islands and all, but French Guiana ison the mainland between brazil and Venezuela. It should be in Comnebol.
3
It’s culturally more Caribbean as all the Guyanas are.
7
Correct. French Guyana is in Conmebol territory. Dude said French Guinea. Not sure what planet thats near, lol.
3
It’s culturally more Caribbean as all the Guyanas are.
1
I’m more of a fan of these Stephen Smith memes than I am of Stephen Smith himself
14
On goal? I mean we’re lucky if it’s in the same direction as goal. Pretty sure he’s had shots that result in a throw in for the opposing team.
8
I read through the comments to make sure somebody clarified this point
3
This is beautiful! Gotta be a better attacker out than Zardez!
2†
Sargent and jozy 100%. Maybe weah, Soto, Nova, wondo, my 10 year old son.
19
Literally playing a man down so he doesn't have a terrible first touch giveaway or just get dispossessed. I love that the only goal scored against the USMNT in this tournament was 100% on Zardes.
2
[deleted]
1
Except it wont be on goal
1
So good to know I’m not the only one that thinks this way.
0
Not sure why you all constantly want to bash this guy. Yes, his touch is often bad. So is a lot of US players. Would make a little more sense if we had a game today and he was horrible. Except we didn't and people just go out of their way to bash him out of the blue.
-3
there is way too much unfunny shitposting in this sub
-19†
Nah you just too old b
52
Go ahead and laugh at Gyasi at your own peril. Big D Zardes is a master at subverting expectations. In light of this I’ve got some little known facts for you guys about the Demi god that is Gyasi Zardes.
•Gyasi only plays in the MLS ironically. He has rebuffed numerous offers from europe ranging from Real, Man United(when they didn’t suck), Juve, and Bayern.
•Messi attended a camp hosted by Gyasi at a young age. There Messi tried to replicate Gyasi’s legendary “Ultra first touch technique”. Needless to say no one has come close to it in the years since.
•Gyasi is actually a 7 time winner of the Ballon d’Or. But in a recently declassified file it has become public knowledge that the US government ran a disinformation campaign to hide the truth and award it to second rate players like Messi and Ronaldo. Why you ask? To reduce global interest in Gyasi to prevent someone like the Russians from kidnapping and cloning the striker in order to develop their own “Super Zardes”.
•See the fact above? That’s why the US “failed” to qualify for Russia 2018. All to protect American interest here and abroad.
• Gyasi lost his virginity before his father.
•The Columbus Crew play for Gyasi Zardes not the other way around.
That’s all I got for today fellas. Just be glad that Dr. Gyasi “Big D” Zardes is suiting up for the USA. I would hate to be on the opposing team with a talent like him on the field.
this is the best thing i’ve ever seen
I can’t stop laughing ahhh
FUCK DAMNIT DONALD TRUMP MESSES UP AGAIN GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHH
Many kids wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris wears Gyasi pajamas.