Outcast

Well, isn't this depressing? There are two parts in me trying to approach the narrator - one of them is very emphatic, and full of questions, but most questions are just trying to support the narrator, a few are of curiosity. The other one is, due to self reflection, very harsh and unpleasant. ("oh boohoo, look at you..")

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The exaggeration of how everything is so hard as the narrator describes is mostly what makes me get to those tough and unpleasant reactions. Again, mainly due to self-reflection. But that's poetry, and the message became more intense.

The thing is because of this self-reflection on the one hand I'm like - that's someone else, so I wanna help them, but on the other hand I see how such a person wouldn't agree to get any help. To say the least I'm very moved by this poem.

In line 5, instead of knows, I think you meant known.

That's a pretty depressing poem, not gonna lie.

I found the poem very expressive in its feeling. I felt very empathetic and want to know more. However, there are tho things that I want to point out.

The first of them is the lack of punctuation. I don’t know if you did this on purpose or if you just forgot it, but I found it lacking and something that made it hard to read. Punctuation can help a lot.

I also found it weird the part about “character assassination” weird. It made it contrast from the narrator ‘s perspective, and I think it was not the idea behind it.

Okay, I don't know if this was your idea, it's just that as someone as a mental illness, it can be really easy to fall into this type of spiral. This really resonated with me, and I feel as though someone who isn't bullied and criticized by themselves might interprite it differently. For me, it spoke to that though it feels that everyone else is judging you, you are your harshest judge, cursed to never meet your own standards and feel content. Regardless, the disconnection from others that the narrator feels is very clear and nicely illustrates the hopeless and desolate loneliness that one can feel. Great poem!

I often feel like a total outcast as well, so I can relate a lot to this. Very good poem, that’s all I have to say.

This is a bit deep. Very chilling to read. Poetry is one way to express your feelings and let loose. Sometimes we feel outcast by our own self. Drowning deep in sorrow and solitude. This poem gives one empathy. Keep writing and expressing yourself. Good work.

The poem has a deeply confessional tone to it, which makes it an cathartic piece of self-expression. I greatly respect the nerve it takes to write something like this, and I found the poem emotionally resonant. However, to critique it purely as a work of literature, I have a few suggestions to make:

1. Try to of rhythmic patterns to emphasize certain words and points in the poem. I think that the deeply emotional tone of this poem could benefit from better pacing (varying the level of intensity to focus on certain feelings), and rhythm can help with this.
2. Try to figure out what your meter is, or if you want to use no meter at all. The way this poem is written may be entirely intentional, but I think it's important to point out that the wrong choice of meter can heavily restrict your word choices and sentence structure. For example, your lines "Victim of despicable crime / Known as character assassination" would likely work better as "Victim of a a despicable crime" or "the despicable crime". It doesn't come across as a deliberate word omission, but rather something which was forced onto you by the meter.
3. Try to find more varied and unique words to use. Poetry is a medium which relies heavily on the musical and aesthetic effect of words and phrases; most of the words in this poem are fairly generic. I can't tell you exactly what words to pick (it is your poem after all), but I think you could work on using more original turns of phrase. For example, your opening line "I am a tormented soul" has been used in more poems than "roses are red, violets are blue"; you would have a greater impact on the reader if you used more intense language.

Overall, this is a solid beginning, and I highly encourage you to write more, and continue to express yourself. I hope to see more from you soon.

I think this poem is trying to tackle a very personal struggle, something many people can connect, yet is hard to talk about. I respect the effort put forth in the attempt to communicate the level of suffering the speaker has endured, and there are some interesting lines incorporated throughout the piece.

I really enjoy the line "Known as character assassination" because this perfectly captures what I think bullying is. Is is the act of murdering someone else's personality and forcing them to conform and suppress who they are. In that way, you are stripping someone of their character, like erasing them from the page of their own story.

However, there are some weak points in this poem in my opinion. The opening line seems too over the top for an intro. I personally like it when there is some build up to a poem's intensity, and I think this line just gives away too much, making the poem seem obvious, leaving no room for interpretation. Perhaps opening with memories of a time before bullying, then snatching away that happiness and describing that process could be more interesting. Just my opinion.

I especially enjoyed the imagery of "Everywhere i go i see those eyes" as this communicates the feeling of anxiety and eeriness of being followed by the pain of bullying. great line.

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Thanks for the poem, hope to see more someday!

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"Known as character assassination" Please change this. It just feels out of place

The entire poem is very depressing because talking about bullying always evokes bad feelings. And find more unique words to use some of these re just cliche such as "I am a tormented soul"

This poem is really depressing, especially for those that are outcasts themselves. You can easily relate if you have experiences simillar things.

"Everywhere i go i see those eyes" This is definitely the best line there. It gave me a picture of two girls looking at me as if they wanted to kill me. here it pretty much shows that the character hates even going out in front of people.

"Known as character assassination" i actually like this one as it tells in simple words that your character was ruined by gossip etc.

This poem is so sad and depressing, and it tries to present itself as such. The first line was good but it is kinda overused so you could take something else

The "known as character assassination feels a bit out of place. I think you could have used something else there.

There is a lot of exaggeration in the poem which i like to some degree. i also like that it has a lot of self reflection