Catfished by a Ham Planet

Accension...I could feel it in my veins. I have been online dating for decades never amounting to anything but bots and mistaken matches...maybe one or two convos only to be ghosted and left to rot a day later.

About a week ago I received a message from this cute red head, too good to be true but my loneliness and solitude deceived me into trying. She was older, mid 30's and a single mother...gross but at this point it's better than the rope. We chatted for days and the conversation was good I managed to walk that fine line of not messaging back to soon or too late and not being creepy or too forward...the perfect Jester. Finally I low inhibmaxxed enough to ask her for a coffee...to my surprise she agreed, we set up a date for last night.

Am I retarded you might ask? Well yes, I agreed to a date with nothing more than a face pic...single mom, no job, no car but fuck it Low inhib for the win right? WRONG!!! She doesn't drive so I agreed to pick her up, I park out front of this ghetto shit nest and text her saying "I'm here"....5 minutes later this abomination of a creature waddles out the door, what once was a human had devolved into nothing more than a balloon shaped mass with eyes...250-300lbs is my best guess but the skies the limit...I should have just turned my head and drove off but fuck it, I'm no monster. She gets in my car and the shocks literally bottom out....AND THE SMELL, some mixture of Jabba the Hut and dead raccoon..I put every window down immediately. I humoured this creature for an hour, bought her a cuck coffee just out of pure shame. The best part of my first date in 10 years was the part where I dropped her off and drove home to my empty LDAR cave.

I'm gonna off myself.