rust belt. (haiku)

very into poetry which turns urbane ordinary images into something mythic and ominous. This is great ! Totally fits the bill.

It's definitely a haiku.

Succinct, and stiletto sharp, but I think that might be to this piece's detriment: with such a brief format it feels detached, like literary disaster tourism. I'm not saying there's no market for it, just that it might be morally difficult.

Aside from the esoteric moral issue, though, it's a solid haiku. Vibrant, delicate imagery adds up to a full picture. Nicely written.

The third line after the cut doesn’t do much for me because sepulchre already contains the connotations of cemetery and dead and stone and such. Also, just not a huge fan of the words linger and sepulchre themselves. I like the idea of this piece, but it doesn’t juxtapose two totally diff things and doesn’t give me too much “texture”?

I do like the reference of Kmart with the idea of death cause it’s nearly or of business now haha. I also recognize the alliteration of “n” and “l”. Thanks for sharing, but, once again, not one of my favs.

Such finely honed language. Love the juxtaposition between modern vernacular (Kmart, junkie) and ancient/religious (sepulchre, necropolis); really helps call attention to and elevates the social problem you're addressing, which is so often dismissed or diminished. I'm curious if the title could better reflect those two elements working in harmony- but that's a minor quibble. Overall I think you've done a great job.

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Kinda harsh reducing junkies to ghouls but its neccessary for the cause. There are cities indeed that have become festering corpses with bioluminscent bacteria feasting on them. Bright and seen from affar but up close just dead and crawling with bacteria. People dont know what it is to say a once useful or even successful structure go empty with opportunity and turn into ruins. Nobody wants it because this town now sucks plays in the back of your mind. Used to be bustlin here. Now its not and there's meth to boot.

And we do treat junkies like ghosts that just need to be busted. Shouldnt there be a national corps of counselors and addiction experts who volunteer to help the biggest internal crisis in America? People who volunteer to serve, take lower pay but gain experience, to help the most vulnefable of people? I dunno maybe.

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Yooo this was a good quick image with a lot of sinister implications lingering beneath the surface. I liked it and I learned a new word.

Wow, I really like this. With something so short you packed in SO MUCH imagery. It may be the fact that I'm from one of the top heroin cities, but I had a crystal clear picture of what you were describing. This also has such an ominous feel and an almost morbid tone as well. Although I'm sure it wasn't your intent, something about you using the word necropolis gave me a sort of post apocalyptic vibe and I really dig that. Good job man. As cliche as it may sound, I wouldn't change a thing!

I love writing haikus! I love the fact that you stick with what a haiku really thrives from. Short, concise statements that makes the reader think and contemplate. It also has the environment swiftly described and implications of what happens because of it. Great work!

Extraordinarily vivid, you've done a fantastic job conjuring up a scene. I'm not quire sure what the intent of the dash was, but I don't know that it adds anything for me.

Good on you for actually following the template of a Haiku, but it's no Basho, and the message is quite trite and overdone. Nice wording though, on "junkie ghouls", you follow through with the cemetery related imagery, which works.

Really love the imagery in this haiku. I can picture exactly what you're saying in my mind, because I've seen this scene many times in real life. Having driven through certain towns in Western NY, your haiku paints the perfect image.

the image conjured definitely screams modern american gothic, twinged with desperation and desolation. i adore your diction, because as others have said, it adds this dense meat to the story you're telling. i like the ambiguity on the characters presented, and the poem reflects that strange momentary feeling of fear one would have in this situation and the latter foggy calm when you remember how human they are. or might not be. or once were, at the very least. really love this haiku

I love it bc a haiku is thought of a very old, classic form of poetry and strong, intense modern events disrupt that in such a delicate way. Also I just imagine reading this 200 years from now and being like “da faq” and that’s great. Tbh kids 5 yrs from now may not get the Kmart reference which is even more hilarious to me haha

Junkie doesn’t have to mean drugs though. We are junkies to all sorts of substances, objects, luxuries, abstract concepts, emotions, that all lead to our demise.

Smart with excellent imagery. Creative and sharp. A great read to start my day. Thanks for posting.

This is very sharp

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