Source
r/feemagers•
-DD

Hello, just a mom, needed to say something with love

Advice

I read the sidebar to respect your rules but didn't see anything about having to be a teen to post and i'm on mobile witch isn't showing me any way to use your flair.

I was only browsing because my teenaged daughter is new to reddit and asked me about cool subs. Love what you have going on here.

That being said, I seen a couple posts asking about things that maybe needed more of an answer then a fellow teen could give and wanted to suggest to you all to perhaps put it in the info bar that if you need more help, r/Internetparents, r/momforaminute, and r/dadforaminute are great places to ask things.

I hope every one of you is having a good day!

Posted Jul 17, 2019, 4:25 PM UTC

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evancanopenertwitchMtF•

I actually tried r/momforaminute and it's amazing (this coming from a trans girl with a transphobic parent)

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-DDOP•

Yes, I picked these subs because I seen a lot of good, healthy help come from them. Seems to be the best of parenting maybe because with so many of them, they don't take any shit from any parent coming on and being an a hole in anyway. They'ed get called out on it fast.

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evancanopenertwitchMtF•

yea, like, it's a mixed batch, feemagers is 100% nicer than teenagers, feemagers will ban people more swiftly than teenagers for doing, well, stupid stuff.

(you get internet hug <3)

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-DDOP•

It really, like x 1000, is so much better! Right now my daughter only knows about teenagers so when I saw this place I was really excited. She's going to love it, I just can't show her it until she gets off work.

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evancanopenertwitchMtF•

well good luck! I think she'll love this place

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fairypie16F•

aw thank you for the information!!

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TeenageData42MODHead Mod•

I’m glad to see you have such a close relationship with your daughter, that’s very important as it’s something I lack with my own mother. I love r/momforaminute they are incredible supportive over there. Thank you for the information!

You definitely don’t have to be a teen to post. We appreciate you contributing to our subreddit.

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BirdOfSteel•

That's really sweet, but it sounds like you're under the assumption of 'parents know best'. While some parents will certainly give good advice, at the end of the day it comes down to individualistic opinions, and, as teens, we naturally prefer the company of people like us that we can relate to. If not, then there are loads of places where you can look for help from other people for different problems.

Just wanted to share my thoughts. Thanks again!

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-DDOP•

I can totally understand were you're coming from, but some issues are just to big for teens. I promise it only seems to come off that way, I picked these subs because they tend to be more kind and thoughtful and not filled with toxicity like relationshipadvice witch can give bad one sided advice.

The amazing thing about these subs I listed is that they're not your parents so they are a collective mind of various adults who can just weigh in to help you out and usually from what I've seen, never as close minded as parents sometimes can be so they give good advice.

Get your fellow teen help but then if you still need answers see what some adults have to say and you can always go back to ask your fellow teens what they think. It's equally bad to have a "teenagers know best" attitude, if you get what I mean. We can all learn from each other.

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BirdOfSteel•

It's true that it's bad to only get advice from one group in specific, but the Plan B you've given is parent-only which is what should be avoided (because it's a single category).

As someone who's suicidal and never expected to last this long into my teens, I've spoken to loads of other teens who get by without the opinions of parents. I'm just having trouble understanding what kinds of problems are too big for a teenager to handle, because it feels like that's generalising.

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-DDOP•

I said "if" the meaning behind this is just that if you don't feel like you could get enough of an answer of what you're looking for here, to ask there for more ideas. Not that it's plan b just more info.

The thing is for example, I saw a post here of a girl asking about tampons because they always feel uncomfortable. Everyone commented better ways to put it in but no one said that the number one reason a tampon would be uncomfortable is you didn't place it in deep enough and it's to close to the opening. Or for another girl commenting in that thread that she couldn't get it in at all, dryness is probably an issue and to use a little Vaseline on the outside of the applicator.

I'm not saying you can't get by without an adult, I know I certainly had to in life. I'm just saying for most teens, adults who had to deal with it already can give you new info and ideas. Adults experienced things most teens are for the first time, ten more times. They have a lot of experience and knowledge most teens don't know yet or answers a teen just hasn't thought of yet.

I say most because obviously there are exceptions and teens who grew up painfully fast and of course there's shitty adults who know less then some teens. But the advice I've seen in those subs is pretty solid. I don't think an asshole or selfish or controlling parent would fly there, they would get banned.

You may not need any more advice right now and feel happy the way you're doing things but you never know if one day you might ask your friends something and they don't know the answer.

I'm sorry to hear about the things you've been through. I'm really happy for you that you seem to have a great support system within your friends. I use to want to end my life too. My mother was a controlling narcissist who emotionally abused me. Not all adults are bad. Some are just the older versions of you and your friends now. It's not adults against teens or teens against adults out here, the real fight is between shitty people and good people no matter their age. I seen enough of those subs that I picked them because they seem the most likely to give healthy advice not just because they're parent related.

You seem on the older side, but maybe that's just because you've been through a lot, either way, there are teens as young as 13 here and some perhaps didn't grow up as fast as you or lived more sheltered lives. Just because this won't help everyone doesn't mean it won't help anyone. It's just a place to ask questions and take it or leave it if it helps or doesn't.

I hope you keep doing better in life. I hope you've figured out ways to help you feel some peace. I admire your ability to not just accept things without question. You seem like great leader material. I'm sorry if anything I said bothered you, even adults have so much they can learn. Thank you for your insight.

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BirdOfSteel•

I think a part of me subconsciously wanted to lump you in with a lot of the adults I've met throughout my life, and I wanted to see if there was a good reason to why I shouldn't. You've raised a lot of valid points and obviously know what you're talking about, so I'm sorry if I came off as offensive at any time. I suppose I've associated the word "parent" with "adult you should automatically be suspicious of," and I apply it a little more than needed as it's helped me to survive.

I'm so sorry you went through everything you have. Any abuse can really affect young people for a long time, and the effort you put into changing lives for the better is inspirational and so important to so many people. I'm certain our conversation will be relevant when I come across someone struggling with this sort of thing, and I'll be sure to remember it.

Thanks for your kind words; they've given me more confidence for the future, and I feel I can do more for myself and others than I thought I could, whatever the situation is. We're all human and should be good to each other when we can.

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TeenageData42MODHead Mod•

Your post has been removed for the following reasons because it breaks:

#Rule 2. No personal attacks: This is a place for civil discussion. Personal attacks can result in a temporary ban or perma-ban if repeated.

Please remember to abide by the rules in the future. You have incurred one infraction point; if you incur two more infraction points, you will receive a temporary 3 day ban.

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-DDOP•

I am really sorry if a parent or adult or many for that matter, hurt you. I know how that feels. I've been there. I didn't mean to make anyone feel like they need an adult, I just wanted to give you all another tool to use. I care. To much sometimes. I just want you all to have every ounce of help you can get and to be doing as healthy and happy as can be. The adults in those subs are really nice and respectful. They won't be assholes like many parents and real life adults can be. They are just there to volunteer their time to share advice to help if they can. I still hope you have a good day!

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krab0016F•

This is honestly the best response to this and I love it.

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TeenageData42MODHead Mod•

Thanks OP, they’ve been dealt with. :)

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sOy_nUt13F•

uno reverse card

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TeenageData42MODHead Mod•

Your post has been removed for the following reasons because it breaks:

#Rule 2. No personal attacks: This is a place for civil discussion. Personal attacks can result in a temporary ban or perma-ban if repeated.

Please remember to abide by the rules in the future. You have incurred one infraction point; if you incur two more infraction points, you will receive a temporary 3 day ban.

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