Source
r/AmItheAsshole•
PauseAndReflect

AITA for wanting to pursue action against neighbor after they used charcoal grill indoors and smoked out the entire apartment building?

Not the A-hole

I’ll try to sum this up the best I can.

I’m an American, married to an Italian, and we live in Italy. We live in an old Italian apartment building where there’s a big patio in the center, and everyone in the building has terraces that face into the patio. Because of this, any smells or smoke or whatnot travel easily upwards and into each other’s apartments. There are only like 5 apartments in the building, so it’s kind of nice and everyone is generally respectful of one another and we try to resolve issues between us.

Today I was sitting at my kitchen table when I noticed that I was getting a crazy headache out of nowhere. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. A few minutes later, I noticed that there was the smell of fire filling my apartment, so I immediately went out on my terrace to see where it was coming from.

That’s when I saw one of my neighbors with this little charcoal grill on his terrace dropping more charcoal into the grill and taking back inside his apartment (...wtf). I put two and two together (having read the carbon monoxide guy stories on Reddit, lol), and realized that my head was pounding from the charcoal fumes.

I nicely explained to the neighbor, who’s 20 years old max, that the fumes were coming into my home and told him to stop, as that’s how you either burn down the entire apartment building or kill everyone with carbon monoxide poisoning. He acknowledged it, said he was sorry, and I thought the matter was settled.

Not 2 hours later, I smell fire again and realize that white smoke is absolutely filling my house. Another neighbor came outside, and he and my husband went and banged on this guy’s door and ripped him a new one, demanding he put it out.

He did, but by this point I’m absolutely livid, as thoughts of choking to death in my sleep or my home burning down start whirling in my head.

I wanted my husband to call our landlord to discuss the issue, but he said to just leave it alone and that it’s not a big deal and that he’s young and just doesn’t know better. I don’t quite agree, and I’m thinking of getting in touch with our landlord tomorrow myself despite my husband saying to leave it alone.

To be honest, if the guy does it again I’m ready to just call the police flat out, because I believe it is a safety issue. My husband thinks I’m being a bit of an asshole about it.

Am I the asshole/overreacting?

EDIT: Thanks for the reassurances. Living abroad, sometimes it's hard to know where the line between being an asshole and reacting within reason is (especially when people around you are shrugging things off). Will be calling the police without a second thought next time!

Posted Aug 12, 2019, 9:02 PM UTC · edited

413
buckus69Asshole Enthusiast [9]•

NTA. The first warning should have been the last one he needed. Apparently this guy doesn't understand that killing all your neighbors = not good.

12
PauseAndReflectOP•

This is how I feel too. I told him once nicely but clearly, and he did it again immediately afterwards. That says to me that we’re dealing with a grade-A idiot and that it hasn’t truly sunk in.

3
sirharryflashmanAsshole Enthusiast [9]•

If it happens again immediately call the fire department.

6
BlaireTreadwayColo-rectal Surgeon [36]•

Yes. NTA. How can someone be so stupid to not know the serious risk he is placing on them. I would call the landlord so he can be put on notice, too.

2
_tropical_tundra_Colo-rectal Surgeon [49]•

Take a couple liters of water and put it out next time. Make him call the landlord and the cops, who will tell Him not to be an asshole.

6
ShouldHveBeenAbortedColo-rectal Surgeon [42]•

NTA. Call the cops next time. That kind of idiocy can absolutely result in death if he keeps doing it

5
ashitstainisyouPartassipant [2]•

NTA

If they're essentially poisoning you with their gas, you had every right to pursue action! He needs to take his grill outside. You're not the asshole.

4
MarrsvoltaAsshole Aficionado [19]•

NTA this is kinda a life and death situation.

2
SarcasticBlackCatAsshole Enthusiast [7]•

NTA. Jesus! He could’ve killed everyone.

2
moss-agatePartassipant [2]•

NTA. id contact the landlord asap. things could fri worse and your landlord probably wants to know if people are creating fire hazards on the property because of stuff like liability and smoke damage.

2
MikkiThPooperintendant [56]•

NTA You need to contact the landlord both for your safety and because this plan definitely damaged the unit this guy lives in.

2
AutoModeratorMODAutomation Enthusiast•

^^^^AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team

I’ll try to sum this up the best I can.

I’m an American, married to an Italian, and we live in Italy. We live in an old Italian apartment building where there’s a big patio in the center, and everyone in the building has terraces that face into the patio. Because of this, any smells or smoke or whatnot travel easily upwards and into each other’s apartments. There are only like 5 apartments in the building, so it’s kind of nice and everyone is generally respectful of one another and we try to resolve issues between us.

Today I was sitting at my kitchen table when I noticed that I was getting a crazy headache out of nowhere. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. A few minutes later, I noticed that there was the smell of fire filling my apartment, so I immediately went out on my terrace to see where it was coming from.

That’s when I saw one of my neighbors with this little charcoal grill on his terrace dropping more charcoal into the grill and taking back inside his apartment (...wtf). I put two and two together (having read the carbon monoxide guy stories on Reddit, lol), and realized that my head was pounding from the charcoal fumes.

I nicely explained to the neighbor, who’s 20 years old max, that the fumes were coming into my home and told him to stop, as that’s how you either burn down the entire apartment building or kill everyone with carbon monoxide poisoning. He acknowledged it, said he was sorry, and I thought the matter was settled.

Not 2 hours later, I smell fire again and realize that white smoke is absolutely filling my house. Another neighbor came outside, and he and my husband went and banged on this guy’s door and ripped him a new one, demanding he put it out.

He did, but by this point I’m absolutely livid, as thoughts of choking to death in my sleep or my home burning down start whirling in my head.

I wanted my husband to call our landlord to discuss the issue, but he said to just leave it alone and that it’s not a big deal and that he’s young and just doesn’t know better. I don’t quite agree, and I’m thinking of getting in touch with our landlord tomorrow myself despite my husband saying to leave it alone.

To be honest, if the guy does it again I’m ready to just call the police flat out, because I believe it is a safety issue. My husband thinks I’m being a bit of an asshole about it.

Am I the asshole/overreacting?

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